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Home / Lifestyle

'I'm not a victim': NZ rape survivors speak out in new book

Jenni Mortimer
By Jenni Mortimer
Chief Lifestyle & Entertainment Reporter·NZ Herald·
13 Jul, 2017 10:05 PM5 mins to read

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Photographer Megan Bowers-Vette has spent the last 12 months photographing and collecting the portraits and stories of 50 men and women from NZ and Australia who are living with the experience of sexual abuse. Source: Youtube / Megan Bowers-Vette

Megan Bowers-Vette has spent the last year photographing and collecting portraits and stories of 50 men and women who have experienced rape and sexual abuse.

Their portraits and brave revelations have been bound together in a book titled "Us", which Whangarei local Megan is hoping to get published with the help of her Boosted campaign, where she aims to raise $2000 to fund the print version.

The Us project was formed from Megan's own life experiences and her decision to speak out about the sexual abuse she endured.

After speaking publicly about her own rape, Megan was approached by listeners who felt they had not been able to acknowledge the fact that they had been abused in their own lives.

The response got Megan thinking about how many people out there are living with similar stories and why a community so large isn't connected to one another.

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She also began questioning the way our society seems to shut down and dismiss sexual abuse - reactions that can be further damaging to abuse survivors. Megan wanted to help grow a greater understanding of what it really takes to survive sexual abuse.

This was her inspiration behind the creation of the Us project.

The book discusses issues such as self blame, and the effect on love, relationships and the foundations of family.

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Megan explains: "The raw and sometimes brutally brave stories in this publication highlight what the world is like for those who have experienced abuse. It is an honest study of issues around the ever-changing mental health status survivors endure."

Megan believes that what survivors want more than anything else, is to feel validated and the Us project aims to help people understand the mind of a survivor.

"From those who wish to find validity in how they have reacted to what they have been through, to those who seek to understand their loved ones and offer the right kind of support," says Megan.

These shared experiences Megan hopes will be a great resource for victims and their families who have similar stories and are trying to find a way to deal with what has happened to them.

"The publication gives voice to an experience society doesn't want to acknowledge, and in doing so validates survivors, letting them know their voice is important. It provides a safe space for truth."

These are their stories:

ANNIE

Annie. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette
Annie. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette

In my 20s I was so fortunate to have met a bunch of women through the theatre and arts scene, and also in the queer community. Many of these women had also experienced sexual assault in some form in their lives.

That was the first point of healing for me, realising I wasn't the only one.

Now at 48 it is very rare to even think about what happened to me. It's such a tiny part of the sum of all my life experiences. When I do talk about it, its with a certain sense of pride in the survivorship and the healing capacity of women.

ZOE

Zoe. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette
Zoe. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette

I don't have to be feeling fine about everything that happened to me. I needed to stop thinking things would get better after some sort of 'healing moment'.

There's no 'moment' like that. Every single time I get sad, depressed and overwhelmed, it becomes easier each time to navigate the emotional terrain I need to wrestle with to get back to being a happy, functional person.

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Letting people in to know who, what and why I am, bumps and bruises and all, leaves me feeling strong, liberated and empowered. I'm not going to let anyone take away my ability to have a meaningful relationship.

AMANDA

Amanda. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette
Amanda. Photo / Megan Bowers-Vette

If I had a dollar for every time someone has heard me speak about my sexual abuse and told me that it happened to them too, I would be a millionaire. But I'm 'lucky', truly, because I'm blessed to be free to speak up & out about my sexual abuse experiences.

I am not a victim. I am a survivor, a conqueror. And I want to help others conquer the shame, guilt, the ugliness of the memories.

To support the Us campaign you can visit: Boosted

The Rape Education website defines rape and sexual assault as "acts in which personal power to determine what is happening to one's body is taken away from the individual."

"What ever your situation you have the right to decide what you want to do about an assault. If you want to report the crime to the Police, you can. If you want to go to a doctor for a check-up, you can. If you want to get some support for what happened, you can."

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The Rape Prevention Centre have been approached for comment.

Where to get help:

If it is an emergency and you or someone you know is at risk, call 111.
• Victim Support: 0800 842 846
• Women's Refuge: 0800 733 843
• Sexual Abuse HELP Foundation: 09 623 1700
• Rape Crisis Centre: 0800 88 33 00
• ACC counselling assistance: 0800 735 566

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