Charlie is making a Charlie of our own Keith Urban.
Whangarei's country music wildman, now US-based, is back in rehab after a two-week cocaine and booze blow-out ended in an overdose.
Keith's long-time liking for cocaine (aka Charlie, blow, Columbian Marching Powder ... ) looks likely to out-last his 17-week
marriage to Nicole Kidman, who is understood to be furious with him.
All three women's mags have stories on the crisis, with Woman's Day revealing Nicole has finally realised she will never tame her new hubby.
"She's heartsick that Keith lied to her about his sobriety," says one close friend.
"She didn't know he was drinking and using coke when she went to bed at night and he was up late working on his music."
Woman's Weekly has a lovely pic of Keith, dressed in a Viking's horned helmet and looking really out of it.
Judy Bailey, on the other hand, looks positively radiant.
Everyone's favourite mother graces the cover of the Weekly to promote her book My Own Words.
But she also finds time to talk about post-natal depression, leaving TVNZ, and the trauma of having everyone know how much you earn.
"I didn't know where to put myself. I felt like I wanted to crawl under a rock, yet at the same time I felt incredibly angry about feeling that way."
One person who has copped a bit of flak lately is Kate Moss, who makes a double-page appearance in New Idea.
The $72 million woman looks set to tie the knot with her shambling Babyshambles singer boyfriend Pete Doherty.
Rumour has it the pair will wed around Christmas, or perhaps on January 16, Kate's 33rd birthday.
But Kate's mates reckon Pete is a bad influence.
One tells New Idea he refuses even to acknowledge his rock-star status.
"He's a junkie musician who will always have to battle to stay remotely upright ...
"He is trouble to anyone who crosses his path. The distress he has caused in his young life so far is enormous.
"You only have to look at his poor mother's wretched face."
The friends believe Kate's relationship is driving her to self-destruct.
Doherty is a notorious drug fiend, but Kate should be able to handle him - she is not averse to the odd chemical stimulant herself, apparently.
Once married, the pair could move into a pharmacy - with Keith Urban in the front room if Nicole kicks him out.
