How to drink less without feeling like you’re missing out

Try switching up your drinking habits by only enjoying a glass in a social setting to celebrate something. Photo / 123rf

In the 1970s, American doctors coined a phrase for a phenomenon they kept seeing play out in their hospitals after the festive season: “holiday heart syndrome”. It became the term used to describe the uptick of otherwise healthy patients turning up in emergency rooms in January with alcohol-induced atrial fibrillation (an irregular, or too fast, heartbeat).

Of course, most of us won’t end up in A&E this week, but “holiday heart syndrome” betrays just how much of a booze-filled blur late December can be. From those first office parties, right the way through to New Year’s Eve, it’s little wonder a Drinkaware study found almost two thirds of adults drink more than usual at this time of year, with almost a third saying they felt extra pressure to do so.

“Psychologically we have been conditioned as a society, particularly in the UK, to associate alcohol with everything from celebrations, to stress relief and socialising,” says Rosamund Dean, author of Mindful Drinking: How Cutting Down Can Change Your Life.

But rather than helping us to unwind, too much alcohol can lead you to feeling worn out, lethargic and more anxious, as well as increasing our risk of heart disease, strokes, certain cancers (including breast and liver) and weakening our immune systems. So, if you are keen to drink a little less in 2023, how can you go about it?

Have two nights off a week and buy half bottles

How much you want to drink will depend on your starting point, says Julie Ward, a counsellor and alcohol coach. Ward suggests new clients have at least two alcohol-free days a week, and also suggests putting ice in wine on the days you do drink. “This will dilute the strength but still gives the taste,” she says. “Or add a mixer, like soda, to make it a spritzer.”

At home, Ward recommends buying wine in half bottles. Now 50, she reduced her alcohol intake significantly 16 years ago after a bowel cancer diagnosis. “I wish half bottles had been around then,” she says, “as I always liked to finish the bottle.” Drinkaware also advises downsizing your glass sizes (especially when you’re at home), which studies show help you drink less.

Follow the 20-minute rule

Julie Ward’s “20 minute rule” – taking a 20-minute break after you’ve finished one drink before buying or pouring your next – is another small tweak that can make a big difference. “When you’ve already had a couple and you’re feeling fuzzy, waiting 20 minutes slows the whole process down and your craving for more will often go away or soften,” she says. “You might even feel like you’ve had enough and call it a night.”

Only drink in a celebratory way

“Now I only drink in a social setting and I never drink on my own anymore,” says Rosamund Dean. “I never get home from a tough day at work, or finally get the kids to bed, and have a glass of wine to try and wind down. I don’t drink to deal with stress or negative emotions, and instead only drink in a celebratory way. Over the holidays however, celebrations and stress can overlap, but keep in mind that drinking never helps a difficult situation. If I am going to drink, it has to be in a fun environment.”

Know your triggers

According to Drinkaware, consider what your triggers are and how to navigate them. Is it being in a bar? Or sat at home when wine o’clock rolls around? When you are out with certain friends? Or is it just to join in on the cheers so you don’t feel left out? Play the event through in your mind and try to identify any potential weak spots and problem solve some solutions for these.

Keep busy

Another useful thing to remember is to keep yourself busy. “If your trigger is being on the sofa at 7pm, then book a fitness class for this time of the day,” says a spokesperson from Drinkaware. “If you don’t plan for these moments, it’s easy to fall into subconscious patterns. Yoga on a Friday night in December? Imagine that! But why not? Alternatively, have something fun planned for the morning after a night out. If you know you have something to look forward to the next morning that you don’t want to be hungover for, you won’t be left feeling boring or worried about feeling left out.”

Be honest with yourself

“Be honest about the impact drinking has on your life,” says Katie Scrafton, co-founder of Dip Club (@dipclubofficial), a community for people who like to have fun without alcohol. “If you spend more time recovering from a big night than you do enjoying yourself, it might be time to take a break or at least cut down. Understand that cutting back on alcohol is a process, and for some people it can be overnight, while for others it takes time.”

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“Basically everyone who drinks thinks they can’t do ‘sober socialising’,” says Dean. “But the first time you do it will give you the confidence to do it again. I have friends who don’t drink at all, and it’s not even a thing. I think people who are sober-curious feel like they have to drink otherwise their friends will bully them into drinking, but they probably won’t.”