Develop a schedule with the child. Set a firm bedtime with a predictable sequence of activities, Cancellier says. Involve the child in developing the schedule (to increase buy-in) and post it on the wall, specifying how many stories, songs, hugs and kisses will be included.
Use visual and verbal cues. Choose a phrase that everyone will use to reinforce the bedtime, such as "Our rule is that people are in bed by 7:30 for the night," and be consistent with it. Talk about the routine at other times during the day, pointing to the schedule in the morning and recalling the one book you read and discussed the night before. That will reinforce the structure and expectations, Cancellier says.
But be patient. Plan for it to take at least two weeks for the new routine to really take hold, Cancellier says. In that time, everyone involved in the bedtime rituals should be at home each night and be working on establishing the new system.
Then stick to it. If your child tries to push the boundaries, be kind but firm. "Have a smile on your face and say, 'What's our rule?' " Cancellier says, adding that parents should hold their hand up in a non-accusatory way, with their palm open, and direct the child back to bed. Repeat as needed. Resist the tendency to get angry or show irritation with your child's efforts to extend bedtime, because that will only prolong things.
"It's harder for them to argue when you smile and just say it," she says. "We get in this habit of nagging them when they're not doing what they're supposed to do, and that's a surefire guarantee of them not doing what we want."
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