'How normal are you' raise questions about normalcy

Presenter Kate Hawkesby goes in search of Mr and Mrs Normal New Zeaoand on 'How normal are you?'

Rather oddly, it has never occurred to me to ask of myself: "How normal are ya?"

But perhaps this is a sign that I am nearly not normal.

Never mind, the telly will answer it for me. How Normal are You? (TV1, 9.30pm) is the brainchild of Touchdown productions and what a relief it is to know that somebody out there has been applying their brains to this hitherto unasked, but crucially important, question.

Well, questions actually. And what a lot of them there are. And, actually, they have been asked before. Hostess Kate Hawkesby asked this of Professor John, one of the panel: "Now, John, we see a lot of these types of questionnaires in magazines and things like that. Are they valid?"

Right, so normally we'd be answering these types of things in mags and things but now we're answering them via the telly.

The point of all of this asking and answering - you can play along at home via the website - is to pitch yourself against Mr and Mrs Normal who will be chosen from an audience who sit in a theatre in Auckland. Unless they fail and are told to Go Home via a text message.

This is innovative and only a not normal person would have thought of it. Probably a genius. You don't need to worry if you are nearly not normal, by the way, Hawkesby assured us. "There is nothing wrong with being not normal. Some very famous and successful people, indeed, are not normal."

Like the people who dreamed up this programme, presumably.

Thank goodness for that. By the mid point in the first episode I was getting pretty worried. There are four categories: normal, nearly normal, nearly not normal, and the green-skinned with eight legs and eyes on stalks category. Or something like that. I must admit I wasn't paying too much attention because I was closely examining what Hawkesby was wearing. I know I am nearly not normal because I think that those deconstructed things she wears are not normal at all. But the first night she was wearing something that was nearly normal. So that was a disappointment.

The interactive aspect was not.

I didn't bother going to the website but what fun I had answering the questions from the couch. You could answer a, b, c, or d. I chose e. As in: What time do you go to bed during the week? Answer: As soon as this programme comes on.

Or: When did you last cry? Answer: While watching this programme.

Nah, not really. I was, like the audience, just making up my answers. Most said that their answer to the question about what disgusts them most was racist comments. This over spitting, watching open heart surgery or anything to do with human waste?

What they have yet to ask is: What bores you most?

I know what a normal person would answer.