How do you tell your kids their dad won't live past Christmas?

The death of a close family member is always heartbreaking. But worse still, as TJ, 49, from the UK found, was telling her two young boys that their dad would not live to see Christmas.

She and her late husband Paul were faced with this impossible conversation just over a year ago. Paul had been suffering from bowel cancer for two years and, after rounds of surgery and chemotherapy, the doctors had told him the treatment wasn't working. The couple, who had recently married, knew they had to tell their sons Sam and Ben, then nine and 6, that their father wasn't going to live beyond Christmas.

"We told the boys we didn't think [their dad would be here] very long," says TJ. "There were a lot of tears and they kind of understood, but not really. It's not the easiest to explain."

The boys, now 11 and nine, knew their father was unwell. He had been diagnosed with bowel cancer back in January 2014 after a spell in hospital over the holidays.

Over a two year period he had been in and out of hospital, for chemotherapy and check-ups. In the winter holidays of 2015 he was admitted to a hospice and given 48 hours to live. "He pulled through and had more treatment," says TJ. "But then in December 2016, he lost the fight." He died at home aged 48.

"You think you're prepared but when it comes it hits you like a brick. I don't think you can ever really prepare anybody."

A year later, Sam and Ben, who still find it hard to talk about their father's death, are sharing their experience in BBC Children in Need documentary Saying Goodbye in order to help other children.

More than 100 children lose a mother or father every day, according to the film. Director Nick Read says, "Coping with the bereavement of a loved one at any age is difficult but the loss of a loved one at a young age can be particularly hard.

"With so many children and young people experiencing or preparing for bereavement we feel this film importantly sheds a light on their challenges."

The boys say their two-year-old Rottweiler, Tank, has been a comfort. "It's good to have a pet because it's someone you can talk to who won't repeat anything," says nine-year-old Ben. "He helps a lot because you can talk to him and he'll listen. Most of the time when it was happening we talked to the dog."

TJ adds that Tank has offered a distraction for the family and given them a reason to leave the house on difficult days.

Sam and Ben like to listen to music when remembering their Dad. In particular, they play their Dad's favourite song, Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline, which they have choreographed a dance routine for. "They like to like to remember him and they like to remember the fun times," says TJ. "They play that song and do actions to it."

As the family approach their second Christmas without Paul, there will no doubt be some tough moments. But they are going to try and enjoy themselves and spend the holidays in the Dominican Republic. "We need some sunshine and time away," says TJ. "It's been three really tough Christmases."