Happy Endings: The squeezy sex-toy that could double as a dog chew

The Link Up Ultra-Soft Max

Warning: Contains content for adults only

The Link Up Ultra-Soft Max

$21 from Hello Lover

It’s fair to say this series has predominantly focused on toys designed for female pleasure, because I am a woman and I am inherently selfish. But this week my partner and I tried out a penis ring device, all in the name of research for my male readers (and those interested in longer-lasting sex, so everyone really).

The Link Up Ultra-Soft Max is an enhancer ring that squeezes with every movement and provides firm pressure to increase stamina, improve sensitivity and deliver erection support.

The stretchy design made of body-safe silicone means it really is a one-size-fits-all, and with a protective waterproof finish, it can be used in the shower or bath if that floats your boat.

It comes in a fetching blue, a fluoro yellow and a minimalist black – and looks exactly like a dog’s chew toy so it would be easy to talk your way out of it if your kids or flatmates stumbled upon it (as long as you owned a dog).

I can’t say I really felt anything special on my side while we used the toy, but I don’t think I was supposed to as it wasn’t designed for me. The wearer is also supposed to fit the ring over both their penis and testicles, but no amount of pleading that “this is my job, you need to help me” would convince my sensitive partner to put his balls in a rubber bind. This means unfortunately I’m only able to review the toy based on penis play alone, at least until I find a new partner who is less squeamish.

The pros are, it’s super-soft and barely noticeable during sex, so it doesn’t get in the way or feel clunky and intrusive. It’s also small and travel-friendly so it would easily slip into your carry-on bag and Customs would be none the wiser, unless they read this column.

It’s also super-affordable so is perfect if you’re new to sex toys and ring play in particular.

I do wish it vibrated though, as that would have elevated the experience for me in particular, but I understand it’s not all about me all the time and for $21 you can’t really expect all the bells and whistles I suppose.

While I didn’t time our sex session with a stopwatch, it definitely lasted longer than usual, but it’s hard to say whether that was from the help of the enhancer ring or because I was laughing my head off at my partner’s penis wearing a choker necklace, which was understandably off-putting for him.

The toy could also be used for a solo session if you’re wanting to have a lengthy session, which would probably be preferable if your partner is a cackling hyena like me. And while I absolutely wouldn’t recommend gifting a sex toy to a co-worker, it would make for a great budget-friendly Secret Santa gift amongst friends – and you could even use it for backyard ring toss if you’re in a Christmas Day boredom pinch.