Mustafa Darbandi was forced to flee Kurdistan but along the way he was threatened by mercenaries, security forces, landmines and wild wolves. He arrived in New Zealand 22 years ago and works as a writer and hairdresser on Auckland's North Shore. His memoir is a remarkable tale of survival and finding home.
When I set foot on New Zealand soil, I felt born again. After I'd been uprooted from my town and village in Kurdistan, New Zealand became the bedrock of my security, offering me an opportunity to become "who I am". Being a multicultural society, New Zealand has become a place in which thousands of uprooted individuals like me can realise their dreams. What came first and foremost for me was security and dignity, which New Zealand obviously offered, helping me enjoy these rights as inalienable human values respected universally.
I am well-travelled, having experienced diverse lifestyles worldwide. But in comparison with other places in the world, New Zealand comes at the top of the list in terms of acceptance and tolerance of multiculturalism. I have done a variety of jobs and have come across many New Zealanders from many social and cultural backgrounds. I have chosen New Zealand as my permanent home, a place where I feel sufficiently comfortable to live the rest of my life.
The decision to make New Zealand my home is based on my experiences in Kurdistan and in the Middle East, where people die seeking the very basic rights we enjoy in New Zealand and the West. There is so much to appreciate about New Zealand and the achievements that it has made in the last century or so. As my experience clearly shows, New Zealand's place in the world extends beyond its mere geographical location.
The first thing I learned about New Zealand is the beauty and serenity of its natural landscape. This encouraged me to read about the country's history and its diverse society. And being the first country in the world to give women the vote, New Zealand obviously represents a very positive direction in the evolution of the liberal state in the last century. It presents an unprecedented role model for the rest of the world to follow, not only in the West but in the world at large.
Since I experienced my formative years under dictatorship, I do understand and appreciate the great value of New Zealand's liberal democracy. I think many Kiwi young people take New Zealand's achievements for granted. Perhaps the time is ripe for New Zealand citizens to appreciate the country's achievements and to be more willing to enrich them with cultural input from newcomers from other cultures who are ready to integrate into the mainstream culture. This would contribute to the betterment of New Zealand life in every respect. I would like to add that integration is by no means easy.
To integrate successfully, one has to psychologically enable oneself to engage creatively in a genuine give-and-take process. While some aspects of New Zealand cultural life were not strange as far as I was concerned, other cultural mores and norms were definitely unfamiliar. To make myself acquainted with New Zealand cultural life, I had to engage myself in a transformative process in which I learned more about myself and about collective New Zealand values. This helped me naturalise.
Of course, enjoying the beauty of New Zealand's multicultural lifestyle would not be possible if there was not a solid institutional culture in which citizens respect the rule of law. This was rare in the Middle East where I grew up and joined the Kurdish freedom movement. Experiencing New Zealand liberty has taught me to be who I am. But in no way do I praise New Zealand blindly.
While some aspects of New Zealand lifestyle might be challenging for immigrants, many aspects of New Zealand's mainstream cultural values are reflected in the United Nations Charter. This is a great leap towards a just, fair and freedom-loving human culture. Without such tolerant and amenable institutions, I would never have been able to make New Zealand my permanent home.
As I learned from my Kurdish forefathers, making a place a permanent home has a deep underlying meaning. The concept of a permanent home in the mainstream culture refers to the significance of each person's sense of place and thus the spiritual connection of the individual person to that place. This is clearly embodied in traditional New Zealand culture, especially among New Zealand Māori.
In the culture inherited from our forefathers, when one makes a place a permanent home then one is morally bound to contribute to it. I have learned in New Zealand over the years that the concept of place is deeply embedded in New Zealand's national culture. The very same cultural traditions are represented in the ancient Kurdish culture that has been transmitted over five millennia down to the modern generation. There is clearly a strong connection between New Zealand's cultural fabric and that of the ancient Kurdish nation.
When my family was uprooted from its birthplace by a political regime that had no respect for its own citizens, I found safety and respect as a citizen in New Zealand.
