Five crimes of fashion

Warning. Fashion pitfalls ahead this season. We feel duty-bound to point out how easily mistakes can happen. Cathrin Schaer points out five classics waiting to trip up the unsuspecting:

1. The puffball. Be afraid. Be very afraid of the puffball skirt and all her relatives. Besides the grave danger of looking like a fashion victim, there's also the distinct possibility of being mistaken for an upside down walking mushroom. So you have two options. 1) Save it for special events. Buy one of the more outrageous versions and make a spectacular puffy scene. Or 2) if you are going to wear one during the day, then wear it with something plain on top or go for one of the more mellow versions. Delicate chiffon tucks on an Angela Lewis dress that result in only a mild puff, a jodhpur-look wool skirt at RJC or the gorgeous red velvet tulip-shaped numbers at Zambesi all work in this way.

2. The goth, the Victorian and the mod. Here's what you do with these trends. You take the bit you like most from what they offer and mix it with your own everyday style. If you go all the way with one of these looks then the next time Dr Who comes to visit this century he'll be taking you back in his Tardis.

3. Don't forget about bohemian style. Because although some of the actual garments and accessories are going to look dated this winter, it's the actual style of dressing you want to remember. It's creative and offers you a certain sort of sartorial freedom that it would be a shame to give up on altogether. Additionally, there are little bits of bohemia hanging around the ongoing and deserved popularity of vintage clothes, for instance. And you are still allowed to put stripes and florals together; you just need to do it in a more grown-up way, that's all.

4. The wandering waistline. Oh woe is the waistband, where has it gone? Is it just under your chest? All those pretty and flattering dresses seem to be saying that it is. Or is it still sitting low, near your hips? All those jeans manufacturers are insisting that it is. Or is it slightly above your real waist? Which is what this winter's high-waisted skirts and pants are implying, as well as the justifiable end of builder's bum and Visible G-string Syndrome.

Actually, to be honest, it doesn't really matter where fashion's true waist is. Because you're far too sensible to buy something that doesn't suit your figure, aren't you? And such a variety of options just give all waists, whether large or small, thick or thin, an equal chance to distinguish themselves.

5. Try not to look like a piece of fruit. More specifically a grape. There's a lot of purple around this winter. Don't use it all at once.