Father who hasn't had sex for seven years seeks advice

The man claimed his wife had showm no interest in him for the past seven years. Photo / Getty Images

A father-of-two has revealed he hasn't had sex with his wife since they married seven years ago - and she has told him she has no interest in being intimate.

Posting anonymously under the handle Anom D on parenting site Netmums, the distraught dad admitted he had sought medication to lower his libido after his partner of 11 years refused counselling to try to re-discover the spark in their love life.

He wrote: "I have a high sex drive, but my wife has no libido - she admits to not wanting sex, she says she never really enjoyed sex, which is new to me as when we first got together it was great."

According to the Daily Mail, he said the couple, who wed after their children, now six and ten, were born, have even failed to consummate the marriage.

The man shared his dilemma on parenting website Netmums. Photo / Netmums

He added: "She has very low self esteem, and although I give her lots of loving, say the right things, in the past bought her nice things, nice lingerie, she works a couple of hours a week, I even cook most evenings.

"But recently, I feel life is wasting away and my wife just says it is not her problem, she does not [want] counselling or... to see the doctors as there is nothing wrong."

Revealing his dilemma over whether to stay in an unloving relationship or leave and risk breaking up the family unit, he said: "So what do I do, leave and risk messing up the children or put up with it knowing I will never have sex again. Is this normal, are there other couples out there in the same position?"

Netmums users were quick to offer their advice to the poster.

Rebecca M wrote: "Maybe your wife is depressed or there is some other underlying issue? Could she be having an affair? Have you physically changed in appearance? Are the kids/work draining her? There could be a number of reasons it has dropped off."

Others shared their own stories of low libido, including another father who said he felt like "seven planets had to align" before his wife would consider making love.

Oscar M also reflected on the impact it was having on his own mental health, saying: "I still have hopes, I still try to show her I want her but I'm denied every time.

"It is an awful feeling, my wife, mother of my children, my best friend, woman I love has become a roommate in the bedroom."

Another commented that a sexless marriage could work, but only if both partners are happy with it.

Louise B wrote: "In answer to your question, a sexless marriage could work. If you were both happy with it, but you are clearly not."

She added: "Personally, I think you're way too young to resign yourself to no sex ever again!"

Susan T said she was in a similar situation with her husband, writing: "It's been 3.5 years for us and I remember the last time clearly… as a woman what I miss the most is the intimacy the soft slow kiss. Cuddles on the sofa

"Yes two kids yes hubby works hard. I take very strong meds suffer with bipolar and depression my Libo is low too and true it is hard to get back into a sexual relationship.

"My hubby said love is not just about sex and he doesn't know why he doesn't want to anymore. I ask he gives me the look and that's it. I love him so I will be with him."