Fairies do more than a fair share

By MICHELE HEWITSON

The great thing about great hotels is that little fairy people come in and make everything nice while you are out at the shops.

A great hotel is one where no request is too mad. It is a place where they still believe that the customer is always right even if they are, literally, barking.

Take This Job (Prime, 7.30pm) begins by going behind the scenes at the Waldorf Astoria hotel, and its really swanky flash sister, the Waldorf Towers, where Cole Porter and Frank Sinatra used to hang out. Now the Clintons stay there; the Hilton sisters grew up here.

The calibre of the celebrity may have diminished over the years but the Waldorf is still regarded as a rather nice place to stay when in New York.

The premise of Take This Job is that you will get a fly-on-the-wall look at unusual workplaces because one day you might have to take this job.

The one job I wouldn't want to take is that of super concierge Michael, who takes care of the every whim of those barking rich people.

When the Stark family arrive back from their summer place to their winter suite at the Waldorf, Michael pops up to deliver a special gift for the Stark's dog. I wanted to know where the dog poops and who has to empty the litter tray, but then I'm peculiar like that.

At the Waldorf, whatever you want you will get. They will do a cheeseboard for a dog, and will even cut the cheese to look like bones.

Michael once had to find a vegetarian restaurant that served meat. He walks the streets to find some new face cream from Israel for Nicky Hilton, who has read about it in a magazine.

I will never get that job. I would never have been able to resist telling her to get it herself. Well, she doesn't have anything to do all day, does she?

Michael just counts this as a very successful day at work.

"They want icecream on toast, we'll do it," says a chef.

Everyone who works at the Waldorf, all 2000 of them, have to be nice all day, every day. Except in the kitchens where the head chef is allowed to shout, a lot.

You want that job?

On one day the banquet kitchen has two weddings and a party for 250, all at the same time. They get the mains for the first, big, wedding out in 12 minutes.

You learn a bit about the fairies who make things nice, but not anything much you'd want to know if you really were interested in the job.

The bellhops and doormen can make as much as $400 in tips a day, but you don't find out how much they get paid for wrecking their backs lifting rich people's luggage and smiling while they do it.

Of course nobody wants to take the job of the bellhop, we all want to be the rich person tipping the bellhop.