Eureka

When I first began this blog nine months ago, my goals were modest.
I hoped to put the occasional smile on people's faces and perhaps make someone think about their actions a little more closely.
It seems, I may have finally succeeded.
Last week, I blogged about my friend Charlie, and those awful people who force their way into your life, only to run away again.
Later that day, I received an email from a reader, who apparently was struck by a Eureka moment.
Upon reading the blog, Simon had a revelation that he was one of the perpetrators.
Over the past five years, he hasn't managed a relationship over three months and says he can't quite figure out why.
Something just makes him run for the hills.
"I know very well that I have hurt a lot of people and regularly reflect on how much of an ass I am but I can't help it.
"Is this a common case or is it just me? And what do you see as the reasons why this is happening?
"I am sick of hurting people and need to help pin point the problem so I can fix it."
Firstly, in true group therapy fashion, welcome Simon and well done for admitting you have a problem.
Unfortunately, as I am not a therapist, or even particularly well-versed in successful relationships, I'm not sure I'm the person to ask.
However, from what little I do know, I'd say the very fact you realise you're doing something wrong and feel remorse for it, is a step in the right direction.
Secondly, no it is definitely not just you. There are plenty of people out there behaving in the exact same manner.
That doesn't make it right, but you shouldn't feel you're the only one.
And, as I said before, at least you can acknowledge your bad behaviour and seek to change it.
As to why it's happening, well, who knows?
But I do feel an important distinction needs to be made.
If you are calling things off because you're just not feeling it, that is okay.
It's better to end things than lead someone on.
I suspect, however, that as you responded to this particular blog, that's not what you've been doing.
Sometimes, you can't help hurting people. But if you're doing so frequently and unnecessarily, then yes, you are an ass.
So, to the rest of the group, suggestions as to why Simon might be behaving this way and how he could alter his behaviour?