What the women's mags say: Queen reigns but Paris leads Hollywood royalty

It's not an unflattering woollen wrap, it's a baby bump. And it's on Jennifer Aniston, according to Woman's Day. In this cover story which depends on some unauthenticated gushing from friends, we have Jennifer joining her arch-enemy Angelina Jolie in the mum-to-be club. The photo shows her hand poised protectively over a pink horse-blanketish coat, and her smiling knowingly - and glowingly, actually.

Aniston's relationship with Vince Vaughn has also shifted into "top gear", and the pair are rumoured to be planning an elopement or an intimate wedding, we learn.

But things in the Jolie camp aren't so blissful. Hormones perhaps raging, she has told talkshow host Oprah to "stick" her invitation to appear on the show, because she considers her to be too matey with Aniston.

Jolie, who has also been having "blazing rows" with Brad Pitt, has convinced him to let her have their baby in Namibia in mid-May. If we don't hear too much from the couple till then, it's because they are holed up in the exclusive Burning Shore resort at a cost of $600,000.

Love on the rocks is a theme for the Day this week - for Dr Phil McCraw, who needs to take some of his own advice or lose his wife because of his workaholic nature, Madonna and Guy Ritchie, who are supposedly "not in love", and Nicole Kidman, who has given a lengthy list of pre-marriage demands to Keith Urban, despite "hating the idea of a pre-nup".

Urban isn't allowed to drink, do drugs, or become controlling or competitive. He must also father a child with her. If he can endure all this he gets Nicole.

If you need a dose of warm fuzzies you can find that in New Idea and Woman's Weekly, who offer the smiling faces of netballer Irene van Dyk and the dear old Queen.

There's a happy-family photo shoot of van Dyk in the New Idea, and 80 things you never knew about the Queen, to mark her 80th birthday. She has 500 hats. She hates tennis and likes pigeons. Prince Philip calls her "sausage".

Over at the Woman's Weekly, the Queen reigns supreme with more royalty photos than on your grandmother's cake tin. It's all very tame, in deference to the Queen this week.

Charles and Camilla have been married for a year. And William and Harry have an "unbreakable bond".

It is up to Paris Hilton to spice things up in the Weekly, after she got down and dirty with boyfriend Stavros Niarchos on a first-class flight to LA.

She "was trying to mount him", said one witness. One of the horrified onlookers was an "elderly passenger from New Zealand" who copped an eyeful and said, "I couldn't believe she would fondle him so publicly in front of all of us". That's what you do when you are Hollywood royalty.