In the women's mags: Sneaky TomKat wedding denies fans some Hollywood spectacle

What a letdown. It was going to be the weirdest, wackiest wedding of all time. And it seems we all missed it. All those months hoping that Katie Holmes would come to her senses and find Tom Cruise as spooky and sinister as most of us now do, and it was all for nothing. The Woman's Day informs that the pair are already married.

Even if Katie had got cold feet at the last minute, there wasn't really any way for her to back out. She would have literally had to jump overboard. The Scientology service took place on a Scientology yacht off the coast of Venezuela last July, and the guests were fellow Scientologists.

Some air of normalcy did intrude though. Katie wore a white dress and Tom a black suit, and she walked down the aisle to Here Comes the Bride, just a month or so after Cruise proposed at the Eiffel Tower and about four months after they first met.

To save you doing the maths, this means the couple's baby, due in three weeks, would have been conceived around about the time of the wedding, which doesn't have legal status.

The picture spread is superb. Cruise is wearing a pink tie, lilac shirt and a toothy smile redolent of middle-aged smugness.

After this coup the Day resorts to more Posh and Becks marriage woes and gives us the interesting tidbit that David Beckham complains about crumbs, untidy clothes and cutlery not being straight in the drawer. Perhaps Victoria can look up OCD for him and seek some help.

And Friends stars Jennifer Aniston and Courtney Cox are struggling with the uncomfortable reality that the men in their lives can't stand each other. Vince Vaughan's macho nature and David Arquette's weird clothes have driven a wedge between the two close friends who have decided to avoid "couple" situations.

The Woman's Weekly offers us NZ Idol star Dominic Bowden and his fiancee, Claire Robbie, who judging by the photos are auditioning for a sequel to From Here to Eternity.

And there is the happy news of Dom's romantic proposal in which he used a Queen CD and hundreds of red roses as props in a hotel room in Bangkok.

More loved up locals in the Weekly include Couples at War stars Jaimee Provan and Johnny Claxton, who were "betrayed" at the island elimination by, erm, Simon Doull.