Frances Grant: In a galaxy far, far too familiar

The 4400 Earthlings abducted by aliens are back among us.

The 4400 abducted people dropped off back on Earth by their alien kidnappers have certainly returned with a few impressive new party tricks.

But it took a good, long while for the fun to begin in this latest close-encounters mini-series, an epic which appears to have come from the same solar system as The X-Files and Steven Spielberg's sci-fi telly saga Taken.

The size of the aliens' ambitions meant a lengthy introduction was required to whisk away a reasonable cross-sample of humans from over the past 60 or so years - enough so that there would be some recognisable faces among the throng when they were returned in a glowing silver orb the addled Earthlings mistook for a marauding comet.

Then we had to establish our key investigators - Homeland Security agents Tom Baldwin and Diana Skouris - and set up their mutual hostility which we know will eventually segue into respect.

As the pilot episode ground on, the returnees were put in quarantine until the authorities, forced to admit they appeared innocuous, had to release them into the community.

Once back in the real world, the returnees' problems began in earnest.

Not only have they not aged a day since their time of abduction, leaving some with real Rumpelstiltskin issues, but the ordinary folks are treating them like freaks. With some justification - under stress, the more neurotic among them display powers worthy of Stephen King.

Others, like the annoyingly serene 8-year-old girl Maia, have come home with a talent for a spooky kind of clairvoyancy.

As well as showing not much originality for such superior beings, the alien abductors appear to be taking their own good time revealing their masterplan.

After two hours' worth, it's still unclear whether The 4400 is going to be a creep-fest or weep-fest.

While some returnees were busy putting on impressive displays of shattering plate-glass windows and human skulls, others returned to more tear-jerker plot lines.

There was Lily, rejected by her daughter and remarried husband. Black southerner Richard found his home in St Louis derelict - but on the positive side, racial integration has come a long way since the 1950s.

I haven't been abducted by aliens to my knowledge, yet still experienced some uncanny powers of deja vu while watching this show: believer Tom and sceptical Diana remind strongly of another alien-busting duo named Mulder and Scully.

Serious little blond Maia was almost a clone of the oh-so-solemn little one played by Dakota Fanning in Taken.

And what is it with aliens and the Pacific Northwest?

Despite the cliches, however, The 4400 offers some interesting examples of inevitable culture clashes between aliens and Earthlings.

Although the ETs are fast movers, zooming around the universe at close to the speed of light, they have a handicap when it comes to selling a story down here on Earth.

Travelling at such high speed might slow down time and be wonderfully anti-ageing, but from the more stately Earthling perspective the aliens appear to be taking an age to put together a plot.

Obviously, they haven't realised that relativity can have this dramatic downside.

* The 4400, TV3, 8.30pm