Comedy Q&A: Charlie Pickering

Charlie Pickering

Why should we see your show? 

It will be socially crippling for you to miss it. You know how people always say, "Where were you when man walked on the moon?" The people of Auckland and Wellington will talk about this show in the same way. It has the potential to be the culturally defining moment of a generation and to miss it would be social suicide somewhere in the order of not reading the Da Vinci Code or not watching bro'Town. This is the zeitgeist, and you can't afford to miss it. Who am I kidding? It's just an hour of funny jokes. It won't change the world but it will make you feel good. 

Describe yourself in five words 

Silly, friendly, shaggy, romantic, etcetera.

Tell us a joke in 25 words or less. 

Your mother's so fat that since her divorce her low self-esteem has made her incapable of forming a lasting or meaningful relationship. Boooyah! I'm here all week. Try the veal. What makes you laugh out loud? I was doing a load of washing and I forgot to button up my duvet cover before I put it in the machine. When I went to get everything out of the machine, I found that all of the smaller items had ended up inside the duvet cover. My response was, "Oh no. The duvet's eaten the pillowcases." I found this to be a silly and hilarious concept.

So now, I never button up the duvet when I wash it. Instead, I pretend that it's a remorseless garment-eating beast of mythical repute that will never be satisfied.

Every time I open the washing machine, I feign hysteria yelling, "Oh dear lord, it's happened again! Those poor socks, they were only five. Oh, when will the carnage end?" It is almost fun enough to make doing the washing enjoyable.

What's the worst line you've ever delivered?

I was once on tour in a town called Albany (deep southwestern Australia). On the way there I had visited an open-cut mine. I said on stage that night that it was the "biggest hole I'd ever seen, second only to ... " I had meant to say the name of a rival town that I had played the previous night but accidentally said Albany. The gig never really took off after that. 

What keeps you awake at night?

Memories of the Albany gig.

What were you like as a child? 

I was in trouble a lot. I took being class clown to a semi-professional level. I once rigged my English teacher's chair with a bunch of party poppers so when he went to sit down, there was a loud explosion and a shower of streamers. It got me a week of detention, but it was worth it for the laughs.

Without looking it up, give us a scientific explanation of laughter. 

A random and inexplicable phenomenon by which certain stimuli cause an involuntary spasm and breathing irregularity that, while making you look like a bit of an oddball, also makes you feel really good. 

If you weren't a comedian you would be ... ?

Lost ... or a teacher ... but probably lost.

Who: Charlie Pickering
What: Betterman
Where & when: Silo Theatre until Saturday, 8.30pm
Show duration: One hour
Tickets: Adult $20/Groups $16 from Response (09) 300 3700