Dr Zac Turner: ‘Is crying in the workplace okay or inappropriate?’

A doctor has highlighted one thing that is normal and healthy – unless you find yourself doing it too regularly. Photo / Getty Images

Welcome to Ask Doctor Zac, a weekly column from news.com.au. This week, Dr Zac Turner talks about whether crying is normal and healthy in the workplace.

Question: Hi Dr Zac, I’m a struggling middle manager currently dealing with burned-out employees and upper managers with backward philosophies.

I had one employee cry in the workplace, and I was told off by management for telling this person it was okay to cry. They said it’s inappropriate to cry in the office, and that it will make the situation worse.

I don’t think that’s true, because I know it always feels amazing after a good cry. Who is right in this situation? Is it healthy to cry?

Max, Melbourne

Answer: This is a very important question, and one that aligns with the current conversations happening in the post-Covid workplace and, in fact, my own workplace.

Before we dive into this fascinating topic, let me just start by saying that if you find yourself bursting into tears regularly, you should seek help from a mental health professional.

You need to care for yourself and not ignore this inner red flag - and become aware of the multiple other flags that are very obvious if you become aware of them.

Crying is one of many stations in the journey of managing your emotions, and I highly recommend you get off at an earlier stop.

You should implement a ‘safe space’ environment in your workplace, and ensure your workers are aware it’s okay to share their emotions without judgment. One of the keys to this is to start to look at potential ‘flags’ earlier and be aware.

Is work the place to let it all out? Photo /123rf

Very rarely do you wake up one day, and all of a sudden you’ve hit the proverbial ‘wall’. In fact, there are lots of early warning signs, and these are what we should be teaching and talking about in the workplace, at home and in life.

A useful tool could be to host a monthly morning tea, where people share their three ‘P’s: a positive moment, a pressure point and a personal highlight. It’s like show and tell but for adults. They don’t have to talk about their work, but it’s an opportunity to engage in open conversations about how they are coping with life at that time.

These tools are great, but asking the right questions is just as important. Are you sleeping less? Have you got hobbies, or are you doing things for your cardio, brain, libido and more? The answers to these questions will reveal so much – for example, if the number of times you are intimate with your partner in a given month has decreased significantly.

It doesn’t happen all of a sudden, but for the most part, happens gradually.

Crying is essential when things get too much in various areas of your life and you don't know how to talk about them. Photo / Getty Images

When it comes to the occasional workplace crying session brought on by stress, I say it should be accommodated for! Crying is a physical manifestation of letting off steam and feeling your emotions. It’s good for you, and there’s science to back it up.

Along with this letting off steam and having what I like to call ‘an emotional breakthrough’ – crying is essential when things get too much in various areas of your life and you don’t know how to talk about them. In fact, this is key to ensuring you don’t ignore the signs and end up depleting yourself and having a mental breakdown.

What is crying, exactly? It’s a natural response we have to a spectrum of emotions including sadness, grief, joy and frustration. It’s been a bit of a mystery as to why exactly we do it – even Charles Darwin once said it was “purposeless”.

Tears originate in the lacrimal gland, and they do have the handy benefit of lubricating your eyes. Have you ever had something stuck in your eye and you find yourself welling up? That’s your body trying to flush out whatever it is.

Outside of the practical benefits of tears, there’s a whole list of reasons why it’s healthy to cry.

Crying regulates your emotions, and calms you when you're in a state of distress. Photo / Getty Images

Crying soothes the soul

You are correct, you do get an overwhelming sense of relief after crying. I had one patient explain it as a mini-orgasm, and they’re not wrong. Crying regulates your emotions, and calms you when you’re in a state of distress. Crying activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which makes you relaxed.

Crying is a red traffic light to the people around you

Crying in its simplest sense is a signal to others that you aren’t doing too well. People in most cases (psychopaths excluded) feel compassionate towards people they see crying. You recognise that person needs care, and that motivates you to ease up the pressure around them.

You get a kick out of crying

Crying releases oxytocin and endorphins - which is a contradiction, I know, but this just shows the body is a fascinating machine! These chemicals released in your brain can relieve your emotional pain, and put you on the right path to wellbeing.

Crying tears is like going #1

Our tears contain stress hormones and other nasty chemicals, and researchers have found the reduction in these nasties through crying is beneficial. This is similar to how we pass urea when we pee.

I highly recommend you tell your management to get out of the 1960s and embrace the beautiful, emotional world we live in today. Their workers will function better if they know it’s okay to cry every once and a while. If they don’t want to fall victim to the great resignation, I think they should cry too!