Anxiety is a normal human emotion many people feel in anticipation of what’s to come, such as the work week, experts said. Sunday scaries is “a lovely alliteration for something that people have been feeling for generations”, said Kathleen M. Pike, a professor of psychology at Columbia University’s Mailman School of Public Health and the chief executive of One Mind, a nonprofit that funds research on mental health care and workplace wellness.
Not everyone has Sunday scaries, but anxious people identify with the feeling, said Judson Brewer, a professor at Brown University’s School of Public Health and the author of the book Unwinding Anxiety. The term becomes part of a person’s lexicon, and videos on social media amplify the message and reinforce their perception, he said.
Redmond has mixed feelings about the millions of views for her TikTok video. She said that it’s nice to know so many people feel the same way and that it helps to laugh about it together, but that “it’s also kind of sad”.
“I do feel kind of stuck. And I feel like a lot of people feel that way. Especially in their mid- to late-20s,” Redmond said. “You feel like you’re getting older. You feel like you’re running out of time.”
Why do people feel the Sunday scaries?
A person can feel anxious on a Sunday for two reasons, said Jack Nitschke, a psychologist and neuroscientist at the University of Wisconsin at Madison. You’re anticipating plans for the upcoming week, and the future is inherently uncertain.
“It’s exactly the same thing that’s driving morning anxiety,” he said. “It’s the anticipation of what lies ahead in the day.”
Erik Davies, a 35-year-old resident physician in Cleveland, said he had a sense of dread returning to work on Monday after a week on holiday in North Carolina.
“I just knew when I open my email, or step back into the clinic, my email will be blowing up,” he said. “Anticipating that on Monday was really getting to me.”
Morra Aarons-Mele, host of the podcast The Anxious Achiever, said our jobs and managers hold an overwhelming power over our mental health. Earlier in her career, she said, her Sunday anxiety got so bad her husband suggested she quit.
“It really overtook my life. It’s visceral,” Aarons-Mele said. “Sunday scaries is a cute name, but the feeling isn’t cute.”
Everybody feels anxiety; it’s “an ancient emotion”, Aarons-Mele said. And it’s common to feel anxious about your job. Our jobs provide our well-being, livelihood and purpose in society, she said. Looming layoffs, or other signs of economic uncertainty, can create uncertainty and lead us to feel anxious about the future.
“Of course you’re anxious. How could you not be?” she said. “The headlines are terrifying.”
It is “totally appropriate” to feel anxious the Sunday before your first day on a job or the night before a big presentation, Aarons-Mele said. You’re going to feel anxious when you’re challenging yourself. But if you feel anxious every Sunday, or before every check-in with a manager, that’s a feeling to investigate further, perhaps with a therapist.
Recognise how anxiety makes you feel, Aarons-Mele said. What are the signs that you’re anxious? And at what points in time do you feel anxious?
“If there’s one person at your job who is triggering all that anxiety, that’s really important to know,” she said.
How to manage your anxiety on Sunday
Try to reframe how you think of your Sunday. The term Sunday scaries frames the day through “anxiety-colored glasses”, Brewer said. However, Sunday is neither good nor bad - and people have control over how they perceive the day, he said.
“The part that we don’t have control over is the fact that Sunday turns into Monday,” Brewer said. “But what we do have control over is how we relate to that, or how we view that.”
Before dinner on Sunday, sit down and rehearse the week, Aarons-Mele said. Include your partner or kids, if you want. People are often anxious when they feel a loss of control, she said. Go day by day through your responsibilities at home and work. Planning minimises uncertainty and helps you identify what’s within your control.
When you start to feel overwhelmed during the week, write down “a very detailed to-do list”, Aarons-Mele said.
“It’s an old cognitive behavioural therapy tool, but it really works,” she said. “It’s about being really, really granular and accounting for your time.”
Keep track of all the good things that happen on Monday and Tuesday. For two months, document the positive feedback you get at work, or the enjoyable moments spent catching up with co-workers, Nitschke said. Test whether there’s any merit to your Sunday anxiety.
“There’s often a lot of good things that happen on Monday and Tuesday, and yet we’re spending all this time on Sunday having Sunday scaries,” Nitschke said. “As is often the case with anxiety and worry, we’re fabricating a future that’s miserable.”
Elizabeth Pearson, a 28-year-old supply chain manager who lives in Chicago, said that when she starts to spiral into a loop of anxiety, she falls back on a list of simple activities she does to feel grounded, such as calling her mum or walking her dog.
“It’s really easy to get wrapped up in all that worry about the future,” Pearson said. “You’re spiralling so much that you’re not able to exist in your body, in this moment.”
