Dave ‘Brown Buttabean’ Letele: ‘Exercise really saved my life, because I really hated my life at one point’

"If people ask me how I’m feeling, I’m always honest," says Dave Letele. Photo / Supplied

South Auckland community leader Dave Letele, also known as Brown Buttabean, is a life coach, motivational speaker and founder of The BBM Program. He lost more than 100kg through good nutrition and exercise and now dedicates his time to helping communities struggling with obesity, diabetes and heart disease. He is also fronting a campaign to encourage people to be part of the census collector workforce for the Stats NZ 2023 Census.

The first thing I do once I get up is get some coffee, and I go and train. I’m trying to get into the gym at 4.30am. It’s more for my mental health than anything.

I feel at my best when I’m eating right. You know, when you’ve got the balance all in line, which is quite hard to get. When you’re eating right and you’ve got your family time, that’s when I’m at my best.

The work that we do is quite physical. We run all these free boot camps, and we help a lot of people with our food bank, and so I’m really pretty busy throughout the day. With any free time I get, I try to be with my family, getting out and bike riding and stuff like that. It’s spending time together, and also keeping us fit.

To keep mentally and emotionally healthy, training is my me time. I don’t drink, I don’t go out. Me going to the pub is actually me training with my mates. And that’s what helps to keep my mental health right. Exercise really saved my life, because I really hated my life at one point, and it was exercise that kept my mind off everything. I wasn’t thinking about how crap my life was when I was exercising. So that’s really how I look after myself mentally, and also having good friends that I can talk about it with. I’m not afraid to talk about the way I’m feeling. If people ask me how I’m feeling, I’m always honest. We always give that generic answer “all good” or “not bad”, but really you might not be.

"Exercise really saved my life...I wasn’t thinking about how crap my life was when I was exercising," says Dave Letele. Photo / Supplied

We always talk about having a strong “why”, you know, a purpose. When I started my journey, my “why” was I really wanted my children back, and I’ve got my kids back now. And now my “why” is being an example for my people, for my family and my kids and my wife. To show anyone struggling that it’s possible. That’s my deep down “why” and purpose. But sometimes, it doesn’t have to be so deep and meaningful. It can be just like the thought of having a real nice cup of coffee. Deep down if your “why” is strong enough, you can really overcome anything.

The best advice I’ve been given is never give up. It’s so simple, but it’s so true. Life sucks sometimes. But you just have to be willing to keep getting up, and not stay down. I’m not afraid of failure, greatness is born from it. I’ve done Dancing with the Stars; I was definitely not good at that, and I felt like I didn’t belong there. And I had a critic running through my head saying, “what the heck are you doing this for?” But what got me out of that was remembering what I was doing it for. I was doing it to raise awareness for our work. I was doing it for our people. And to show others what’s possible.

The thing that I’ve realised as I’ve got older is that all your kids want, what your kids need, is your time. And you being the best version of yourself. We are so driven to give them material things when they really don’t matter. It’s not until I was older that I really realised that.

To encourage myself, I’m my own biggest fan. We all have an overactive inner critic. So, I try to be an overactive “biggest fan”. And I’m telling myself, “You got this, come on, you got this”. Sometimes you’ll see my lips moving, because I’m just talking to myself. If you can’t love yourself and talk about it, then you can’t expect anyone else to.

When the going gets tough, I just talk to myself, like “you’ve been here before”. It’s cliche, but it won’t last. I always say to people, “don’t be afraid to struggle. You can overcome it; the tough times won’t last.” When I do speeches, all I do is talk about how crap my life was, and how I managed to turn it around. No one can replicate your story, so, if you embrace your struggle, you can really make something from it.

Dave with his wife, Koreen and sons (oldest to youngest) William, Tavita, Fabian and Brook. "All your kids want, what your kids need, is your time," says Dave Letele. Photo / Supplied

What makes me happiest is looking at my kids and seeing them smile and having fun.

My biggest life hack is learning to delegate. And saying no. Because I always say yes to everything. I’ve learned to not do stuff on the weekends. I say no a lot more so that I can spend time on the weekends with my family. That’s one thing that I’ve learned: not feeling bad to say no and putting myself and my family first.

As told to Maxene London. This interview has been edited for clarity.