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Home / Lifestyle

Dating Diaries: Age-gap relationships are on the rise in New Zealand — here’s why

Lillie Rohan
By Lillie Rohan
Entertainment Writer·NZ Herald·
11 Jun, 2024 09:33 PM4 mins to read

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Bumble is seeing a rise in age-gap relationships, according to new research. Photo / Getty Images

Bumble is seeing a rise in age-gap relationships, according to new research. Photo / Getty Images

OPINION

If you’re single, looking for love and having no luck, it’s not you. It’s the age bracket you’ve set on your dating app — maybe.

Pick your jaw up off the floor and meet us in the love laboratory, Kiwis, because there’s a dating trend receiving a lot of attention right now, and it starts with “cross” and ends in “generational dating”.

This form of relationship isn’t exactly new; it’s been part of dating culture history for years. Even King Charles had an age-gap relationship with Princess Diana, who was 12 years his junior.

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What is new, though, is the way it is being challenged by women both internationally and in New Zealand. While an older male dating a younger woman was once considered “normal”, an older woman dating a younger man would receive tense backlash.

Sam Taylor-Johnson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson have a 24-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images
Sam Taylor-Johnson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson have a 24-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images

An example of this is Sam Taylor-Johnson and Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s relationship. They reportedly met when he was a teenager and she was 23 years his senior, as well as his director on the set of the film Nowhere Boy. When Aaron was 19 and she was 42, they were engaged and faced widespread scrutiny about their romance.

Sam recently spoke to the Guardian where she said to her and Aaron, the age gap wasn’t a problem, it was a problem only to people outside of their relationship. “Everyone at the beginning said, ‘It’s a terrible idea, it’s not gonna work’, and then you’re, like, 15 years down the road and have raised four kids and you’re like, ‘Really’?”

The couple share two children together, as well as Sam’s two children from her past marriage. Aaron refers to them as his daughters, so we’d consider that relationship a success.

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Sam and Aaron aren’t the only A-listers to have a loved-up relationship where the female is older. Kris Jenner, 68, has been dating Corey Gamble, 43, for a decade now; Cher, 70, is dating music executive Alexander “A.E.” Edwards, 37; and Heidi Klum also dates a younger man, Tom Kaulitz, who is 16 years her junior.

Heidi Klum and Tom Kaulitz have a 16-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images
Heidi Klum and Tom Kaulitz have a 16-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images

Now, with the release of Anne Hathaway’s new film, The Idea of You, the older woman/younger man age-gap narrative has been brought to the forefront of our minds once more, and it seems Kiwis are ready to partake in it.

According to a new report from dating app Bumble, it has been revealed more than half of Kiwi women on the app would be open to dating someone younger than them. One in three women continued to say in the past year, they had become less judgmental towards age-gap relationships.

Speaking to the Herald, Bumble’s Asia-Pacific communications director Lucille McCart breaks down why our preferences are changing, noting that ultimately, it comes down to women in their 20s and 30s questioning and challenging dating norms they have grown up believing.

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A post shared by Bumble Australia & New Zealand (@bumble_australia)

“Age-gap romances are becoming more popular because single people in 2024 are less inclined to follow a traditional rulebook for dating,” she says. “The trend is being driven by single women in their 20s and 30s who are questioning what they have been told about gender, power, and the amount of agency people bring to relationships.”

McCart explains, “There is a stereotype that younger women only date older men for money or status, or that younger men date older women for some kind of kink. While there are certain scenarios where those stereotypes are true, it’s also possible for young women to intellectually connect with older men, and for young men to find older women fun and sexy in a way that doesn’t fetishise them.”

The dating expert says Bumble’s most recent dating report noted some “interesting shifts” that indicate a “growing flexibility” when it comes to age ranges — particularly in women.

Corey Gamble and Kris Jenner have a 24-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images
Corey Gamble and Kris Jenner have a 24-year age gap. Photo / Getty Images

And Bumble isn’t the only app seeing a change in our preferences — Tinder, too, has echoed the sentiment, revealing nearly half (45 per cent) of female Tinder members globally have matched with someone younger than them.

Elsewhere, a study published in the Journal of Sex Research weighed in on the matter, stating a new study has seen women finding high levels of sexual pleasure and satisfaction in relationships with a partner who is younger than them.

McCart is a fan of the change in preference, admitting, “I love this idea because it challenges the [incorrect] belief that the dating pool for women only gets smaller as we age.”

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So, if you’re looking for love, an age-gap relationship may be worth a spot on your bingo card.

Lillie Rohan is a London-based reporter covering lifestyle and entertainment stories who joined the Herald in 2020. She specialises in all things relationships and dating.

For more on dating and relationships, listen to the NZ Herald podcast, It’s a Date with Lillie Rohan

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