Daniela Elser: Why Prince Harry is the biggest loser in coronation move

The Duke of Sussex will attend King Charles’ crowning next month, but the decision to go represents an epic climb down. Photo / AP

OPINION:

Oh Harry. Oh you poor, silly boy. What a huge bloody mess you have made.

On Thursday, the world finally got an answer to where Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, will be come May 6.

He will be booted and suited and stuck next to a cousin inside Westminster Abbey facing possibly the hardest day of his adult life, while she will be back in California wiping sugar-free icing off small children and wondering when the non-gender specific clown will turn up.

After months and months of speculation, of furrowed brows, big headlines and enough rumours to refloat the Titanic, we now know that Harry will indeed be attending his father King Charles’ coronation next month but Meghan will not, opting to stay home for son Prince Archie’s fourth birthday.

On paper, this all looks very practical and grown up – a deeply sensible division of duties.

Harry has confirmed his attendance at his father’s coronation, ending months of speculation. Photo / AP

But c’mon … no matter the spin and the cheery face that Team Sussex would appear to be trying to put on things, the reality is that this coronation move qualifies as a humiliation for the Duke of Sussex. (If ever there was a day the man might need a Paddle Pop after dinner, it’s today.)

Harry attending constitutes a climb-down on par with the one Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay made after summiting Everest – news which, incidentally, reached London on the very same day in 1953 as the late Queen’s coronation.

Back in January, it was hardly safe to open Twitter or click on a news site for fear of having to contend with Harry’s signature “just sucked a lemon” pout staring out at you as he promoted his memoir Spare.

Having done some smug sermonising about just how rubbish being a prince was, he told ITV’s Tom Bradby when asked whether he would go to the coronation: “There’s a lot that can happen between now and then … The ball is in their court.”

He didn’t stop there, and during his round of Spare-schilling interviews, he still clearly felt he had a hand left to play. Harry publicly announced he wanted to have a “have a proper conversation” with his family and would “really like … some accountability, And an apology to my wife.”

Charles will finally officially be crowned King on May 6. Photo / Buckingham Palace

Then in February, the Times reported that “Harry wants an apology from Charles and William before he will attend” the coronation.

Only problem for the duke? Charles and William have not played ball. In fact, they have resolutely refused to step foot on the court, completely and utterly ignoring Harry’s prolonged TV-and-book tantrum.

Four months on from Harry’s “ball” pronouncement, what has he actually gotten?

An even colder shoulder from his family and the sudden, urgent need to find packing boxes in the Windsor area.

Harry’s seeming attempt at strong-arming-slash-embarrassing his father and brother into admitting the errors of their ways immediately backfired. As we later found out, within 24 hours of Spare’s publication, reportedly, the Sussexes were told to clear out their home on the Windsor estate, Frogmore Cottage.

Harry’s tell-all, all frosty todgers and unfair sausage distribution, might have sold like the clappers, but it would seem Charles and William have been busy muting his messages.

The eminently well-sourced Tom Bowers has reported in the Daily Beast that “there has been no direct contact between Harry and his brother or father” since Spare was published.

When the duke pitched up back in London to take his scowling game to the London High Court to indulge in his number one favourite pastime, putting the boot into the British press (number two, playing Runescape and number three, trying to get Zac Efron to return his call), he did not see his family.

The word was soon put out that His Majesty was “too busy” to see his son, even though Charles’ State visit to France had just been cancelled at the eleventh hour, leaving him twiddling his thumbs at home.

Meghan will not attend the huge royal event. Photo / AP

If there is a lesson in this for all malcontent spares of European monarchies, it is that trying to essentially blackmail a King via a PR onslaught is not a clever play.

And yet here we are, with the Sussexes’ housekeeper trying to get HP sauce out of Harry’s best morning suit, despite his terms not being met. His family have not given him a single, solitary millimetre, he’s been frozen out by his father and brother, and has even found himself with no UK home.

You can try and dress up Harry’s coronation attendance with all the “he still loves his father” bleating you like, but the Duke of Sussex’s attendance on May 6th is akin to a bank robber giving up and saying, “Fine, you keep the money” mid holdup.

And the day itself could end up being nothing short of mortifying for Aitch.

Mike and Zara Tindall better be brushing up on their small talk, because odds are they will be forced to save Harry from the extreme discomfort of not having a senior member of his family make eye contact, let alone speak to him (okay, perennially cheerful Princess Eugenie might lend a hand here too).

The chance of William even looking in Harry’s direction is about as likely as Queen Camilla chucking a sickie on the day to catch up on Succession and raid Prince Philip’s collection of stouts.

Harry reportedly wanted apologies from his father and brother before he agreed to attend the coronation. Photo / AP

Not only is Harry likely to be blanked by the members of his family who actually matter in a monarchical sense, and by the two people who are his closest blood relatives, but all of this is going to be playing out as hundreds of millions of people watch on.

This could end up being as exquisitely excruciating as watching someone being dumped on live television. (New reality show idea? We could call it Wait, It Really Is You. Netflix, call me!)

However, surviving the two-hour coronation itself won’t be the end of the very hard emotional yards for Harry. After the service, the King and Queen will make their way back to Buckingham Palace and will reportedly be followed by a “final group of 15″ who will represent the “heartbeat and future of [the] family”.

Again, it seems highly unlikely that Harry will be one of that number, thus leaving him to watch what was meant to be his future quite literally pass him by.

No matter how happy and high on life Harry might be these days refilling his hummingbird feeder and trying to come up with podcast ideas (so far, no dice), he is about to be forced to come face-to-face with everything he has given up.

It is hard to see how the coronation could be anything but a humbling experience for the duke. Still, here’s the silver lining: At least it will give him something juicy to write about in his next book.

Daniela Elser is a writer and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles.