The Queen has announced that she'll be appearing on TV screens on the same day as her son and daughter-in-law. Photo / Getty Images
OPINION:
The Queen has worn Cornelia James-brand gloves for decades, however, this week it looks like the dainty $300 creations might be coming off.
Her Majesty is staging what looks like a spectacular battlefield manoeuvre in the ongoing Sussex War of Whinging or the Sussex War of Valiant Independence, depending on one's particular leaning.
Only a scant week ago – yes, it feels like much longer – the world and Buckingham Palace learned simultaneously via a pleased-as-punch CBS press release that Harry and Meghan, Duke and Duchess of Sussex, had managed to carve out some time from their daily schedule of sun salutations and trying to get Jeff Bezos to Skype with them (I'm guessing) to do a 90-minute TV interview with Oprah Winfrey.
The lengthy sit-down, in which Meghan and the billionaire media titan will only be "joined" by the Prince later in the piece, will be the couple's first interview since quitting the royal family last year.
The confab will air on the evening of March 7 in the US with bidding wars already reportedly taking place as international networks vie for the broadcast rights.
Pretty much every news story since then about this eyebrow-raising turn of events has used the word "explosive" and for good reason.
However, welcome to the ring Queen Elizabeth II! The bantamweight bruiser from Buckingham Palace has landed something of a blow against the Sussexes' prime time spectacle with the announcement overnight that she would also be appearing on TV screens on the very same day as the Sussexes.
See, March 8 is Commonwealth Day, an annual event that usually gets marked with a service at Westminster Abbey featuring an X Factor runner-up belting out a number and a passel of HRHs done up in their best hats.
Last year's outing happened to be Harry and Meghan's swan song as working members of the royal family, the entire family outing proving equally memorable for the arctic level of frostiness on display between the duo and William and Kate, Duke and Duchess of Cambridge.
This year, the pandemic has put paid to the idea of squashing 2000-odd people into one large room for a spot of singing and handshaking so the palace announced last night that instead, this year the Queen would be delivering a TV address to mark the occasion, with the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, and the Countess of Wessex also taking part.
And the air date? Why, funny you should ask – it just happens to be on the evening of March 7.
So, here we have the royal family and the breakaway court of Sussex facing off on TV screens, the world over, on the same day, around the same time.
From Harry and Meghan's perspective, this news must surely have been about as well-received as finding their supply of organic kale had been replaced by kilos of Costco generic sausages a day past their use-by date.
Still, it seems unlikely the California-based Duchess and "H" would be thrilled that they now have to share the spotlight on their big night with Buckingham Palace's bestest triers.
The Duke and Duchess now face having to do battle for top billing in terms of public interest on the night in question, forced to share the spotlight with the same bunch of relatives they moved half a world away from.
Her Majesty's address will likely focus on just how spiffy a notion of the Commonwealth is and will highlight the common bonds that unite the 2.4 billion people worldwide who live in member nations.
I think we can confidently expect her to expound on the idea of harmony and the entire endeavour will serve as a reminder of her nearly seven decades of service. Jolly good show, ma'am!
For the palace, at a time when the royal family is closely associated in the public mind with division and discord, this Commonwealth Day TV outing seems like a particularly canny move.
Having all the Windsors read from autocues and bang on about just how nifty the Commonwealth is will not only be a splendid show of family togetherness but will send the message that they are busy getting on with the job rather than recycling a handful of tired gripes while surrounded by Diptyque candles.
This could throw Harry and Meghan's Oprah interview, which was filmed over two days last week according to reports, into stark relief.
If the couple, ensconced on some suitable vast, greige Californian linen sofa, offer us wounded Bambi eyes and tales of how hard it was to be a member of the royal family, they run the risk of just coming across as privileged whingers clogging up prime time with all their shopworn poor me-ing.
That's not to say that yes, they most certainly, to my mind, have some very serious and real grievances about how their all-too-brief royal tenure was handled by the palace and courtiers, a bunch who at times seem so removed from the real world it wouldn't surprise me if they are still coming to grips with the advent of the fax.
However, for Harry and Meghan, it feels like they have spent a disproportionate amount of time since they got their much vaunted freedom last year grumbling. If on March 7 they don't offer any significant new insights or revelations about just how badly they were treated then this TV interview could ultimately prove damaging.
The fact they will face immediate comparison to the royal family only makes the stakes that much greater.
If on the night the world is presented with two very different versions of royalty – one defined by dull but dogged duty and the other defined by melodrama mixed in with a tired recitation of perceived injustices – then the vast, yawning chasm between LA and London, and the inevitable comparison, will only be even more stark.
Factor in too, this is happening when the US is set to pass the grim milestone of 500,000 lives lost in the pandemic. In the UK 121,000 people have died from the virus. By contrast, being forced to adhere to the order of precedence or not having one's Instagram acumen adequately applauded by the top brass hardly seems that devastating, does it?
It is also worth pausing and taking a look at the fact that William and Kate will be involved in the Queen's TV outing.
Sure, a clutch of HRHs will be there but does anyone really think that, say, the Duchess of Cornwall and her two-packs-a-day (yes, I'm guessing) rasp is what eager viewers will be tuning in to enjoy?
(Sadly we will not get the chance to witness Princess Anne's Teflon-like bouffant, a splendid feat of engineering and probably industrial-strength hairspray, in glorious action).
The million-dollar question now is, just what is the palace's thinking in running their Commonwealth Day address on the same night as the Sussex tell-all?
The Telegraph has reported this came down to a "timetable coincidence", but Sunday night might represent better ratings than the Monday, which is the actual date of Commonwealth Day, so what conclusions can we draw from the fact Her Majesty's special is instead being broadcast on the very same night as Harry and Meghan's small screen coup de grace?
Nothing – absolutely nothing – the royal house does is by accident.
It was to be expected the Queen would do something to mark Commonwealth Day but the fact she has dragooned her top troops to join her could be read as her taking on the Sussexes at their own game.
Though it is unfair and sexist, Kate and Meghan have been pitted against one another since day dot and their relationship seems far more defined by cool disregard rather than hair-pulling horror. Oh CBS, you've got a glamorous Duke and Duchess fronting the camera? Why, so do we!
Maybe this is a bit of savvy counter-programming by the wily palace or maybe the Sussexes didn't even factor into their thinking the Queen exists above the fray, thus plebeian considerations and PR machinations simply didn't come into it.
No matter. However we came to this extraordinary moment is beside the point; on March 7, more members of the royal family will be on TV screens the world over than ever before. Curtains will be pulled back and history will be made.
The biggest certainty here is this: we are going to need popcorn. Damn vats of the stuff at this rate.
• Daniela Elser is a royal expert and writer with more than 15 years' experience working with a number of Australasia's leading media titles.
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