The world is waiting for news of the newest royal baby. Photo / AP
Strange as it may seem, the royal family is quite open about what they are up to a lot of the time.
You can download their finances to see what they dropped on sending Princess Anne to Madagascar ($94,500) and how much their greenhouse gas emissions have dropped over the last year (20 per cent thank you very much).
However, Buckingham Palace remains adamantly tight-lipped about one situation: the Duchess of Sussex and her baby.
However, quite a few clues point to the very tantalising possibility Meghan has already given birth, and Baby Sussex is currently tucked up asleep in Frogmore Cottage in his or her gender-neutral nursery.
Let's review the evidence.
THE PARKING LOT FURORE
Earlier this week, it was reported Windsor Castle staffers were positively miffed because they were denied access to a carpark that overlooks Harry and Meghan's new digs, Frogmore Cottage. According to The Sun, the good employees were so put out they had even come with a nifty nickname. "Everyone's calling them NIMBYs, meaning not in Meghan's backyard!" an unnamed source told the British paper. Very naughty!
Superficially, this might sound like some dull workplace shenanigans up there with the curious case of who stole Derek's corned beef sandwich from the Windsor staff kitchen. However, the palace's level of neuroticism about who may or may not be able to see into the Sussexes' garden suggests they have something they don't want people to see. Something they might want to hide from curious strangers and the long lenses of the crafty paparazzi. Something like a tiny adorable new royal!
THE NUMBERS GAME
With each of her babies, the Duchess of Cambridge undertook her last royal engagement one month before popping along to the Lindo Wing to give birth. Meghan's last official outing was on March 19, which is exactly 30 days ago — i.e. it's baby time! Numbers don't lie.
THE INSTA POST
Two days ago, Harry and Meghan took to their lovely new Instagram account to thank people who had made generous donations in lieu of sending baby presents. The caption read: "On behalf of The Duke and Duchess (and Baby Sussex), we thank you so much", and thus the Internet melted down.
View this post on InstagramA post shared by The Duke and Duchess of Sussex (@sussexroyal) on
The direct reference to Baby Sussex is very unusual — Kate and Wills never directly referenced their unborn bubs in social media posts.
THE MAKE-UP MAESTRO
Daniel Martin is not only one of Meghan's besties but he did her make-up for her wedding. Last week, he shared an Instagram story that placed him in Windsor, aka in Megs' hood. It would make perfect sense for him to be in the UK to help get her camera ready for the first shot the couple release of themselves with their bub.
THE INTERNATIONAL JAUNT
As Britain slides into the Brexit abyss, the UK Government has an ace up their sleeves to charm the Europeans: Charles and Camilla! Yesterday it was reported the Cornwalls were taking their patented royal double act to Germany on May 7 for a Kraut charm offensive. (Read: So they might be kinder to Theresa May next time she goes to Brussels to beg for leniency from the EU.)
The timing is very interesting. Charles is said to be quite the devoted grandfather and step-grandfather and there is no chance he would be jetting off to the continent if he had not already spent some quality bonding time with his newest family member. (That would just be the worst. Boom tish.) All of which makes it even more likely Meghan's due date might be far earlier than we had realised.
THE DIARY RIDDLE
Everyday the very lucky (London) Times gets to publish the court circular that outlines what the Windsor family gets up to day-to-day.
For example, yesterday: "Her Royal Highness, Former President, Royal Association of British Dairy Farmers, afterwards presented the Princess Royal Award and the Royal Dairy Innovation Award at Buckingham Palace." Translation: Princess Anne spent yesterday talking about udders and exciting advances in nipple sterilisation.
Harry was also at work. He had a briefing from Chatham House on international affairs and then convened a roundtable on climate change at Kensington Palace.
But wait! As Vanity Fair has pointed out, what craftier way to put the press off the scent and to distract from all those crying noises that might be coming out of Frogmore Cottage than to look like he was busy at work?
Intriguingly, Hazza has no future engagements for the next four months (though there is every chance he might pop along to the Trooping of the Colour in June), which would mean he needs to be at home right now and for the near future.
We can interpret that two ways: One, he has blocked out this time to binge on the new series of Game of Thrones, or two, he has secretly become a papa and is trying to work out how the heck you change a nappy.
Daniela Elser is a royal expert and freelance writer.
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