A quick preview of Prince Harry and Meghan's visit to NZ.
An exposed garment tag has never symbolised so much until Meghan Markle's flapped in the breeze this week as she continued to whirl around the Pacific on her never-ending royal tour.
As we all read the breaking news stories about the rogue tag at our work desks while eating sadsalads from the office canteen, it was a comforting sign that Meghan is not perfect.
Well, she is perfect and it probably wasn't her mistake but that of her Canadian best friend and stylist Jessica Mulroney who's probably no longer her best friend or stylist because of this whole tag incident, reports news.com.au.
But it was also proof the mammoth trip was beginning to take its toll and — just like any other couple on holiday — the cracks were beginning to show.
We'd all been waiting for a slip up since they landed in the country 173 days ago. No one wants to admit it but it's true. We were secretly hoping the combination of jet lag and having to sleep on twin trundle beds in the spare room at the Cosgrove's shack would leave them so tired and irritable they'd have a public spat — forcing Meghan to strop off to the David Jones food hall and spend the rest of the afternoon ignoring Harry's calls.
It doesn't matter how in love you are, everyone becomes insufferable at towards the end of a holiday. There's nothing left to say to each other when you return to your tiny hotel room after spending your days doing everything together.
Personal space is a distant memory. After hopping on a plane home this morning, Meghan probably can't wait to land so she can lock herself in one of their castle's turrets to watch Netflix in peace.
Even a really long weekend with a boyfriend can become too much to handle. One time, a particularly drawn-out Sunday trip to Woolworths with a partner ended with me scream-crying, "I feel suffocated!"
There aren't many downsides to being a royal but not being able to scream-cry in a Woolworths carpark is definitely one.
No matter how irritated Meghan and Harry are with each other, they're forced to hold hands and wrap their arms around each other even when it's really hot and humid and they'd rather use their hands to check Instagram on their iPhones.
Making this holiday even more stressful is it has been jammed full of boring educational things and no shopping and they keep getting stalked by that old lady who wants to marry Harry.
Meghan's probably just pumped she could use her pregnancy to get out of doing the bridge climb. Nobody wants to do the bridge climb. And thanks to camera drones, we can all just drink at Opera Bar while watching the footage on our phones and then just tell people we did it.
Of course, pregnancy also comes with a massive con: Meghan couldn't drink at all which meant she had to suffer through back-to-back hangouts with ScoMo, Gladys Berejiklian and the Cosgroves completely sober.
We'd rather do the bridge climb.
TRAVEL LIKE BECKHAM
Places to go, single carrots to buy. Photo / Supplied
If Meghan did get a chance to scroll through Instagram this week, there's no doubt she would've been extremely jealous of Victoria Beckham.
The Beckhams have also been in Sydney to support Harry's Invictus Games, but Victoria's schedule involved less chats with ScoMo and more swanning around in athleisure.
Victoria is having the holiday Meghan dreams of. She wouldn't be caught dead on the bridge climb. She'd rather do a Spice Girls reunion tour with those four losers she used to know. Instead, she sent David and the boys off to do the climb so she could go hang out in a nail salon.
Avoiding all activities involving culture or tourists, she went for a quick workout on Friday and then made David drive to a juice shop in Mosman to purchase a single peeled carrot.
