Confessions of an extreme Tinder addict

Has Tinder made Gen Y lose certain face-to-face communication skills? Photo / Getty

Aly can spend hours a day on Tinder, swiping through photos and chatting to some of her 250 current matches.

She's only met one of them. Sometimes, just a "Hello beautiful" is enough for a self-esteem boost, says the 26-year-old from Melbourne, and she doesn't need anything more from the guy.

"I'm a heavy user," she told news.com.au. "It can satisfy an emotional need.

"I might be on the couch feeling daggy and not really feeling good about myself. Then someone says, you're looking good today."

Occasionally, she'll meet her matches, but often she'll flake on the real-life date - mainly because of her own insecurities, she says. She's scared she won't live up to the person they've imagined after meeting online.

That has happened in the past. "I've seen a guy physically lose interest in me, the spark go out of his eyes. That hurts. It puts you off to a degree."

These days, she finds it easier to talk to men through the app than in real life, where her image is less carefully controlled.

"It's so much easier to mess up in real life," she says. "Online, I have more time to think about what I want to say."

She's much more comfortable approaching people as a potential partner on the app, but confesses it has made her more superficial. "It's upped everyone's standards by quite a lot. I look at the photo and if I don't think I'll be attracted to them, I move on."

Aly, an events co-ordinator, is what's known as a Tinderella - a girl whose love life revolves around the app. She appears on Australian documentary Hack Live: Swipe Right on ABC2 and Triple J for a live debate on how our radically altered dating landscape has changed us.

She believes Tinder has made Gen Y lose certain face-to-face communication skills. "I've lost the ability to say I'm not interested."

Aly says she's reluctant even to complain about a bad coffee now, she's so used to leaving the negativity for the safety of behind a screen. But she doesn't see her dating habits changing.

"At this stage, I quite honestly don't know where to meet someone in real life.
"You get an impression of how someone looks, their personality. It's like a vetting process."

She says there are pros and cons of using Tinder compared to real life meetings. "A guy who just wants to have sex will hook up with you and never call. It's more emotional.

"I'm looking for a conversation or someone who'll let me know I'm pretty."

Tonight's Hack Live program asks whether modern dating is a disaster or a dream come true. It also features Chris, a 23-year-old who's had 750 Tinder matches but is still single.

He seeks out the help of dating coach Jonathan Sankey to see if he can meet girls in real life.

More than three million Australians under 30 are single, with 44 per cent of young people having used a dating app or website. So has this new way of dating changed us forever, or are we ready for a swing back towards a slower paced way of finding love?