Confessions of a Christmas teetotaller

While alcohol helps some people to unwind, it causes others to unravel. Photo / 123RF

'Tis the season to be jolly, but that doesn't have to involve booze – what's important is the company and conversation.

Forget chestnuts roasting on an open fire. The cinnamon-infused scent of mulled wine brewing spicily on the stove has long come to characterise the unique smell of Christmas, along with the fresh odour of a lush green pine tree.

Yet as (some) revellers are still falling out of parties flushed with the effects of umpteen seasonal cocktails, while others are already enjoying the effects of egg nogs and Baileys shots at home, how on earth do you brave the Yuletide liquorfest as a teetotaller?

It is a question I am regularly asking my non-drinking self as December rolls towards Christmas and the prospect of a celebration merrier than a quiz night at Santa's grotto.

Being a sociable being who suffers badly from FFOMO (Festive Fear of Missing Out), I am loath to turn down any remaining seasonal invitations – not least with omicron threatening to elf-on-the-shelf all our best laid plans.

But I would be lying if I didn't admit to being bored by the 18th drunken rendition of Do They Know It's Christmas of the holiday season. It is frankly impossible to even attempt Bono's part on two Appletisers and a handful of cheese balls.

Yet with sobriety becoming ever more popular following lockdown, which according to Public Health England drove a 20 per cent increase in deaths from diseases caused by drinking, just how do you get through a dry Christmas?

The first step is to accept that while the festive season will forever remain a booze-filled affair for the majority, you're not behaving like a Grinch if you want to stick to the soft stuff. And let's be honest, there is nothing more miserable than waking up with a hangover on Christmas morning.

Since I stopped drinking over a decade ago, I have been subjected to many "go on, go on, go on" moments (think Mrs Doyle from Father Ted) as fellow revellers appear convinced that they cannot have a good time unless I am getting plastered with them.

Not only is this palpable nonsense, but as I also have to frequently remind people, when it comes to socialising, what is important is not what is in the glass that you're toasting with but the toast itself. It is about being among friends. I don't understand why we are always giving alcohol the credit for a great night out, when it's really all down to the company and conversation. (And you'll invariably find that the loudest critics of your decision not to drink are the very ones telling you at the end of the night that they envy you for stopping.)

The truth is that while alcohol helps some people to unwind, it causes others to unravel. It is not for everyone and there is no shame in admitting that. If you don't want to drink, just tell people that straight – you don't need to give them your history. Society has changed a lot in the past decade; sobriety has become a more acceptable life choice, especially among the under-25s who are already drinking a lot less than my generation at that age.

Non-alcoholic drinks can be just as glam as booze-laden ones. Photo / 123RF

It is also useful to acknowledge how the marketing of alcohol, especially around Christmas, manipulates people into thinking they can't get through the festive period without it. Alcohol advertising normalises drinking and makes it seem an essential part of everyday life when you are no more compelled to booze at Christmas than you are to scoff down mince pies or kiss under the mistletoe. These are habits, and many people enjoy them, but they are by no means obligatory.

Clever marketing has also perpetuated the myth that alcohol de-stresses when actually it can cause more angst at Christmas. As the child of an alcoholic, this period of so-called consequence-free drinking, when the normal rules don't seem to apply, was probably the most difficult time of the year for me, my dad and my two brothers. My beloved mum, who passed away as a result of her alcohol abuse in 2001, aged just 54, took the maxim of it being the season to be jolly a little too literally. I remember one particularly frosty Christmas morning when she decided, already several sheets to the wind, that it would be a good idea to attend Mass wearing nothing but her fur coat. We sat through a tense Communion service, wondering if we'd make it back home to open our presents without being arrested. Of course we can laugh about it now she has met her maker, but it didn't bring much festive cheer at the time. As children, we sort of dreaded Christmas as it seemingly gave her a licence to drink to excess, simply because everyone else was in the mood for a tipple.

In reality, you don't need alcohol in order to have fun, be social and relax, which is why we are regularly able to do all of these things over a cuppa all year round. As sobriety coach Gayle Macdonald puts it: "Kids don't need alcohol to make Christmas magical and special – it just is."

As well as advising clients who have given up alcohol to "create a vision board with images, quotes and words that will help you to connect to these fabulously festive feelings," she suggests teetotallers make as much of a fuss about their non-alcoholic beverages as drinkers do of their Christmas cocktails.

"Just because you are not drinking alcohol, it doesn't mean you can't enjoy a gorgeous drink, because you absolutely can," she explains. "For me, fancy teas and indulgent hot chocolate are a treat and give me that warm festive glow, with feelings of warmth and magic, without the nasty side effects.

"There are so many fantastic alcohol-free drinks available now, which are pretty, refreshing, taste and look amazing, and as long as it is not triggering, then indulge in a gorgeous alcohol-free tipple. Keep your glass topped up and no-one needs to know the difference if you are worried about 'drink pushers' or people asking why you are not drinking."

I couldn't agree more. Even if I am only having a lemonade, I make sure I prepare it as I would any drink – in a nice glass, with ice and a slice.

As Macdonald adds: "It isn't the alcohol that makes for festive cheer, but the people, the atmosphere, the food, the music, the decorations and just all round vibe."

Christmas only comes once a year. Rather than drunkenly missing out, I can highly recommend savouring – and remembering – every single moment.