KEY POINTS:
All right, so I know we've talked about the whole 'can men and women be just friends?' thing before.
As I recall, we came to no solid conclusions. Some people can, some can't. Extenuating circumstances and all that.
But today I want to delve deeper, and look at whether it
is appropriate and/or acceptable for men with partners to form new friendships with other women? Or vice versa.
You may scoff, and say, 'Of course it is. My partner trusts me, I can be mates with whoever I want.' But deep down, I don't think everyone's as cool with it as they make out.
In fact, it seems to me that a lot of people downplay and even hide their friendships with members of the opposite sex. Which rather begs the question - is it really friendship?
Over the years, I have developed friendships with various attached guys, through work, mutual friends, and other random facets.
They have been up front about the fact they have girlfriends, and from my point of view they have been purely platonic relationships.
So it never fails to amaze me - and is actually quite hurtful - when they fob me off to their girlfriends as some vague acquaintance.
The same people who will text, email and chat openly with you on their own, suddenly act like you're a deranged stalker when their partner is around.
Which only leads one to assume it is not as innocent a friendship as you first believed.
The funny thing is, most of the partners in these situations (who I have inevitably become friends with later through other people - Auckland being the world's smallest town and all) are perfectly rational girls. They are not possessive, green eyed monsters.
So why don't people just tell the truth and introduce you as their friend? Why do they feel the need to keep you as a closet friend?
I guess it all comes back to the original issue of whether men and women can really just be friends - free of ulterior motives and sexual attraction.
And despite people's protestations, it presents a pretty strong argument against the idea.
So, truthfully, do you think it's okay for people with partners to form friendships with members of the opposite sex?
Would you be cool with it if it was your boyfriend or girlfriend?
And would you openly introduce a new found friend - of the opposite sex - to your partner?
