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Home / Lifestyle

‘But Mummy!’: Prince Harry brutally mocked in front of millions

news.com.au
17 Jan, 2023 06:00 PM4 mins to read

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Prince Harry on the set of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. Photo / CBS via Twitter

Prince Harry on the set of The Late Show With Stephen Colbert. Photo / CBS via Twitter

US talk show host Jimmy Kimmel has brutally mocked Prince Harry in a skit about the Duke’s injured penis and the revelation that his troubles with it reminded him of his late mother, Diana, Princess of Wales.

The Duke of Sussex’s penis and its brush with frostbite unexpectedly became a worldwide talking point last week after he wrote about it in his explosive memoir Spare.

The royal, 38, described how his penis was “frost nipped” during his trip to Antarctica, leaving his member “tender”.

A friend recommended a home remedy for the malady, which involved applying a particular cream to his penis.

Although the Duke didn’t name the Elizabeth Arden product, readers have speculated that it was the brand’s cult classic Eight Hour cream.

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US television host Jimmy Kimmel brutally mocked Harry and his penis woes. Photo / AP, File
US television host Jimmy Kimmel brutally mocked Harry and his penis woes. Photo / AP, File

That’s because of a subsequent line in the book where he wrote about how the smell reminded him of his mother, a known fan of the product.

“My mum used that on her lips. You want me to put that on my todger?” he asked his mate.

After the friend’s reassurance, Harry found a tube, writing that the smell of it transported him back to his childhood.

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“I felt as if my mother was right there in the room. Then I took a smidge and applied it … down there,” he wrote.

Harry did multiple British and American interviews last week to promote Spare. However, he snubbed Kimmel’s show for that of rival Stephen Colbert.

Kimmel, whose show airs on the US ABC TV network, couldn’t resist going to town on the anecdote, to roars of laughter from the audience.

He read a mock children’s book called The Prince and the Penis.

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US TV Host Jimmy Kimmel displays a fake book as a parody of Prince Harry's account of an encounter with frost. Photo / ABC via Twitter
US TV Host Jimmy Kimmel displays a fake book as a parody of Prince Harry's account of an encounter with frost. Photo / ABC via Twitter

“The story of Prince Harold and his frozen yoghurt slinger is so popular they’re now releasing a version for kids, a twist on The Princess and the Pea.”

The faux fairy-tale was richly decorated with images of what appeared to be a ginger prince, his friend a penis dressed in a bobble hat and mittens and an angelic princess in the clouds above.

“At the chilly North Pole, a silly young codger took a walk in the snow, and froze his wee todger,” said Kimmel, reading from the supposed book.

“The skin was discoloured, all purple and white. When Harry peered down, ‘twas a terrible fright.

“‘Oh mummy, oh mummy!’ He cried with a scream, and from then on up high, she appeared with some cream.”

A page from Jimmy Kimmel's parody of Prince Harry's account of a close encounter with frost. Photo / ABC via Twitter
A page from Jimmy Kimmel's parody of Prince Harry's account of a close encounter with frost. Photo / ABC via Twitter

On the page, the princess in the cloud looked remarkably like Diana.

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“‘But mummy, did you not put this on your lips?’” Kimmel continued.

“’Oh yes, my dear boy, and also my nips, but do not delay or your knob be destroyed’.

“‘But mummy have you heard about Sir Sigmund Freud?’”

Prince Harry’s book is so popular, they made a version for kids! #ThePrinceAndThePenis pic.twitter.com/mV0Sfy4REL

— Jimmy Kimmel Live (@JimmyKimmelLive) January 17, 2023

That line sent the Los Angeles audience into fits.

Kimmel concluded the reading with a memorable last sentence, from the celestial princess.

“‘Should ever you have icy chills on your hard-on, just give it a rub with Elizabeth Arden!”

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Most of Harry’s sit-down interviews were relatively soft affairs where the Duke was given free rein to lay into his family. On only a few occasions was his version of events scrutinised.

Tom Bradby, from the UK’s ITV News, has been a confidante of the Sussexes for years, but he did get some pointed questions in.

For instance, when Harry lamented the fact that the press wanted to expose his drug use - including cocaine - in his younger years, Bradby asked: “Do you really think the third in line to the throne taking a class-A drug is not a matter of public interest? Do you accept that it is a matter of public interest?”

The Duke sidestepped the answer.

On CBS’ Late Show last week, Colbert didn’t push Harry as hard.

The Duke took the opportunity to have another stab at the press for his own revelation in the book that he killed 25 insurgents in Afghanistan whom he saw as “chess pieces” rather than “people”.

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He claimed the media reported he “boasted” about the killings, which he said was a “dangerous lie”.

Colbert said he had read the section of the book in question, and found it “a very thoughtful description”, adding that there was “nothing boastful about it”.

But just like on Kimmel, the Duke’s penis was raised.

“We’ve taken quite a leap, from grief and trauma, to my todger,” said Harry.

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