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Home / Lifestyle

Boyfriend's brutal moving day shocker

By LJ Charleston
news.com.au·
14 Feb, 2020 01:14 AM3 mins to read

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On moving day - only Jennifer's removal truck turned up. Photo / Getty Images

On moving day - only Jennifer's removal truck turned up. Photo / Getty Images

Jennifer was thrilled to be moving in with her "brilliant" boyfriend – but when the removalists arrived, they brought shocking news.

When 36-year-old Jennifer fell in love with her partner Thomas, she felt like he was the one she'd been waiting for.

After years on the rollercoaster of online dating, she was thrilled when she met him and realised they had so much in common; from both coming from large families, to a love of soccer, video gaming and ballroom dancing.

Their relationship progressed "brilliantly" and, according to Jennifer, they were not only lovers but best friends.

"It sounds like a cliche but he was really fantastic," Jennifer told news.com.au. "We were great together. My friends referred to us as 'a golden couple' and 'couple goals'.

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"That's how good we were. We celebrated six months together and there were no problems that I knew about.

"There weren't any red flags, no warning bells. I never met his family because they lived interstate. But Thomas had said many times that he wanted to take me to Adelaide to meet them. He told me he loved me and he suggested we move in together."

READ MORE: • Love in the time of online dating: Are you falling for a 'ghost'?

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The couple found a one-bedroom apartment on the northern beaches of Sydney and Jennifer says they were looking forward to moving in. Both of their names were on the lease.

But, on moving day – only Jennifer's removal truck turned up.

"To say I was devastated would be a major understatement," she said. "I still haven't had an explanation because he's not talking to me. He totally ghosted me. I still haven't gotten over it and I doubt I ever will."

Louanne Ward has been a professional matchmaker for more than 20 years and when it comes to ghosting, she claims to have "seen it all".

"Ghosting is causing so many self-esteem and mental wellness issues," Ms Ward said. "For the ghosted, the rejection plays heavy on their self-worth. It is very soul-destroying when someone simply disappears without an explanation, especially if you had raised expectations with this person.

"When it happens over and over, the build-up causes emotional triggers of rejection which end up impacting the whole dating experience in a negative way.

"Ghosting is a by-product of the lack of emotional intelligence and a desire to avoid emotional confrontation. When you don't know what to say it's easier to say nothing, as they want to avoid the drama of the respondent lashing back at you or knowing you hurt someone's feelings."

Ghosting in the dating world is not gender related; Ms Ward believes women ghost as much as men do.

"Women may b**ch about ghosting more or be more emotionally affected by it but they are equally guilty and responsible. In many ways, I think women ghost more than men," she said.

"Sometimes ghosting someone is the kindest thing you can do for yourself if they won't take 'No' for an answer or is becoming abusive or is projecting emotional instability. On the whole, though I think ghosting is gutless and stunts emotional growth for both the ghoster and ghosted.

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"However, if someone has been ghosted, the hard fact is the ghost isn't interested in what you have to offer."

Ms Ward has created a six step "exit script" for people to follow, to show how easy it is to exit a relationship and act with compassion.

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