Posting to her Facebook account, feminist commentator Clementine Ford did not see it as a joyous moment in any way.
“People stop this. Stop doing this,” she said in a piece to camera.
“That is her moment. You have taken her moment from her that she can never get back. Why do men do this?”
LaTrobe University said it made “an error of judgment” and that the marriage proposal “detracted” from the students’ academic successes.
The comment suggested the university knew the marriage stunt was going to happen.
Ford said no one knew what circumstances the woman went through to attend university and what kind of success it was for her to complete her studies.
But now the focus was on him, not her.
“Why do men look at situations where women have achieved something for themselves, where they are about to receive praise and admiration from their friends, their community, their family members, that has nothing to do with those men, and then think – you know what – I’m going to make this moment about me?” Ford said.
“I’m going to make it so that she remembers the day she graduated was the day I proposed to her. That was the most important thing that happened to her that day.
“And everyone who came to support her will be congratulating her on that (and not her graduation). Stop stealing women’s moments from them, they do not belong to you. They are not yours to have.”
In her Facebook post, Ford wrote: “To this woman, congratulations on your incredible academic achievement. You should be very proud. Your degree will open more doors for you than marriage ever could, so don’t let it be diminished by our twisted cultural values.”
She added that proposing to someone publicly on a stage was “not romantic” but “entrapment”.
“How is she meant to say no when there’s an auditorium of people oohing and gasping?”
Ford urged people who see public wedding proposals to “stop applauding it! Stop indulging these displays of ownership.”
Finally she had some advice for the woman who was proposed to: “Don’t marry this man”.
In a reply to Ford’s post, LaTrobe University said it had made an error.
“Our graduation ceremonies are all about celebrating student achievement, and this event detracted from that important acknowledgment of our students’ success.”
The university said it had removed a previous post that had celebrated the proposal.
