Blind Kiwi mum’s heartbreaking story: ‘I’ve never seen my own kids’

Tauranga mum-of-two Melody Steyn lost her sight just before her first child was born. Photo / Swift & Click Photography

Melody Steyn was 27, engaged, pregnant for the first time, and a talented surfer and runner, when she unexpectedly went blind.

After suffering a haemorrhage in her left eye that led to lost vision, the Tauranga mum-of-two, 38, underwent intricate surgery to work on the remaining sight in her right one. But when she woke in darkness, Melody was devastated to learn she’d lost a lot of blood on the operating table and would never see again.

Eleven years on, however, Melody is leading a fulfilling and independent life despite the challenges of blindness, which is all thanks to hard work, the love of her sons and husband Danie, 40, and life-changing support from Blind Low Vision NZ.

“You can have a disability where your life can be very hard and more challenging than most, but you can be a happy, whole person,” says the South African-born former law student, who moved to New Zealand seven years ago.

Raised in a tiny fishing village on the east coast of Africa, Melody was 20 when she met her technician hubby. When the couple decided to move from her home country to be closer to Danie’s family in Australia, they had their eldest son Matthew, now 11, who was born not long after Melody lost her sight in 2012.

“I’d had black spots appearing in front of my eyes for a week or two and my vision would go a bit blurry,” says Melody, now also a mum to Isaac, four. “I got it checked out and there was a bleed behind my left eye, so I started having surgery.”

“I woke one morning in the hospital and couldn’t see,” recalls Melody. Photo / Swift & Click Photography

When three procedures on Melody’s left eye didn’t work, a doctor suggested they operate on her right eye to make sure it would keep its vision. Sadly, that failed too and the bubbly go-getter was told there was only one last option – a fifth operation.

“But I woke one morning in the hospital and couldn’t see,” recalls Melody, who also has diabetes. “They said, ‘You’re done. You’re never going to see anything again.’ I wondered what the point of living was.

“I didn’t know how I would work, study, drive myself around and go for runs when I couldn’t see. I thought, ‘How will I make food, take the bloody rubbish bin out or get dressed in the morning?’”

Supportive Danie made an appointment for them to get married at a registry office just a few days later. While in and out of hospital for tests, including one that showed she also had diabetes-related kidney damage, Melody found out that she was going to be a mum.

“I was about three months’ pregnant,” she tells. “I thought, ‘My baby didn’t ask for this’, and I decided to get on with my life. I needed to make sure he was okay, that I was okay, and that I knew how to cook for and feed him.

“The day he was born was the happiest and saddest of my life. When you have your child, it’s overwhelming happiness and nothing you’ve felt in this world. But I really wanted to look at his face and into his eyes, to let him know he was going to be good and he was safe.”

Woman's Day.

While Melody had little support for her blindness in South Africa, she has been blown away by the help, education and community she has received through Blind Low Vision NZ in Aotearoa, where Isaac was born.

“I got an instructor who taught me to walk my child to school and pick him up in the afternoon, using a safe route with a cane and landmarks,” she tells. “I’d put Isaac in a little baby carrier on my chest and walk Matthew to school. It can take weeks or months to learn, but they’re really patient and it helped to give me independence.”

Melody has also been taught to use helpful technology, including a screen reader that allows her to send emails.

While Melody had little support for her blindness in South Africa, she has been blown away by the help, education and community she has received through Blind Low Vision NZ in Aotearoa. Photo / Swift & Click Photography

“If I’m typing, I can listen to the keys and pick up spelling mistakes because it reads out what you’re doing as you go,” explains Melody, who works as a needs assessment coordinator for people with disabilities.

“There’s a whole lot of technology you can learn and it’s hard, but it did change my life and it’s the only reason I have a job now.”

While there are things that she can’t do alone, like food shopping in a supermarket, Melody has embraced the help of the voice-controlled virtual assistant Alexa, who helps her with shopping lists and tells her recipes as she cooks in the kitchen.

Melody Steyn was 27 and a talented surfer and runner when she unexpectedly went blind. Photo / Swift & Click Photography

“I go to the gym to do CrossFit and I go surfing, even though there’s always someone around and it’s like I’m a newbie again,” laughs Melody, who recently signed up to study social policy.

“But it’s a lot of fun. I’ll listen to audio books while I’m doing my laundry, and I have a talking microwave and kitchen scales! I never knew these things existed, which is why it’s absolutely essential to have Blind Low Vision. They helped me to find independence again.”

• Blind Low Vision NZ Week runs from October 9. To make a donation or for more information, visit blindlowvision.org.nz.