Ben Mack: What makes finding a flat to rent extra tough?

The sad truth is my experiences have been far "better" than they are for many immigrants and genderqueer people, too. Photo / Getty

"Home is where the heart is."

Kind of a sentimental cliché, huh? Stirs up all sorts of warm, fuzzy feelings, like gooey chocolate chip cookies, hot chocolate, thick blankets and fluffy kittens?

Considering I've lived in four countries on three continents, my definition of "home" is a bit more bizarre. Off the top of my head, there was the flat I stayed in one summer with five other people while studying in Boise, Idaho. Since daytime temperatures would regularly reach 40 degrees Celsius and the place had no air conditioning, all six of us would usually sleep together in the basement. The smell was incredible. That was also the place where at 2:30am in the kitchen, I came face-to-face with an angry raccoon while completely naked, but that's another story entirely.

In Berlin, I spent three months living in an artists' colony. While that might sound romantic, the reality was it was a squat behind an art gallery. But it was a period of great personal growth, and I met some people I still stay in touch with to this day.

Here in Auckland, I recently moved into a new apartment. I'll be honest: it's easily the nicest place I've ever lived. But getting it certainly wasn't easy. The unfortunate reason: discrimination due to my immigration status and gender identity.

Speaking from personal experience, if I had a dollar for every time I inquired about a flat, only for the letting agent or head tenant to hear my thick-as-molasses American accent and then decide that I "wouldn't be a good fit," I'd have enough money to buy round-trip tickets to Fiji. Really.

That's not all, either. In the past few months, I've slowly become more comfortable in being true to myself, and letting people know that I don't identify as female or male but as a non-binary person. Unfortunately, I have also had to pay a heavy price for a clearer conscience.

One incident during my recent apartment search stands out. I'd had a viewing, met with the letting agent, and was in the process of filling out the application form. Unfortunately, under the "gender" section, there were only two options: female and male. I asked the letting agent if there were any way to leave that section blank or write in "non-binary," briefly explaining the angst such things cause for many genderqueer people. She said she'd see what could be done. Two days later, I was informed that someone else would be moving in instead. No explanation was given.

The sad truth is my experiences have been far "better" than they are for many immigrants and genderqueer people, too. Landlords arbitrarily raising rents and threatening to kick us out if we don't pay up because they know many of us immigrants don't know where to go for help and - under the law - don't have the same rights because we're not citizens or permanent residents. We've suffered emotional, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of landlords and flatmates. Constantly living in fear, taking a massive toll on mental, physical and emotional health.

It's no way to live. It's not ok, Aotearoa.

Housing discrimination against the hundreds of thousands of people who aren't New Zealand citizens or permanent residents and still live here - not to mention the many thousands of people who are openly non-cisgender - is something we're long overdue to not just have a conversation about, but to actually do something about. Unfortunately, leaders seem loathe to address it.

Don't believe me? At Labour's campaign launch in Auckland on August 20, Jacinda Ardern discussed a range of issues related to housing, including that housing should be "a right". But the fact she did not mention if that right extended to immigrants or genderqueer people was not lost on me. Likewise, I haven't heard any National politician discuss housing discrimination against immigrants or genderqueer people at all. Come to think of it, I haven't heard ANY politician from ANY party talk about it.

That's not ok, Aotearoa.

Allow me to be blunt: Do you have any idea how stressful it is to search for a place to live in a country you've never been to before in your life? To not have anyone to help you find a place because you don't know anyone who has even been to New Zealand? To hear politicians and ordinary people constantly decry how "foreigners" are taking housing from hardworking Kiwis, seemingly oblivious to the fact that we've sacrificed basically everything to get to Aotearoa and can't "go back to where we came from" because we can't even afford a plane ticket - we spent our entire savings just to get here.

Can you imagine how incredibly insulting it is to have a real estate agent ask what kind of people you prefer to have sex with, because you asked if there was an option besides female or male on an application form or that they don't call you "sir"?

That's not ok, Aotearoa.

While I'm fortunate to have a place to live, it breaks my heart going to bed each night knowing there's so many fellow genderqueer folks that don't have a place to call home. According to Lifewise, up to 40 per cent of homeless people under the age of 25 identify as Rainbow (a term used to cover diverse sexual orientations and gender identities). More heartbreaking, Lifewise adds that more than one-quarter of Rainbow youth who come out to family are disowned and find themselves homeless.

That's not ok, Aotearoa.

We're all familiar with the devastating effects of homelessness. For LGBTQ people, we typically end up homeless at a higher rate than the general population.

That's not ok, Aotearoa.

Here's what we need: we need guaranteed protections for everyone, regardless of immigration status or gender identity or anything else. Those guaranteed protections need to extend not just to people in housing, but to people looking for housing, too. What is gender relevant when moving into a flat? News flash: Nothing. This shouldn't be some revolutionary policy announcement; it's called looking after basic human rights.

Legislation aside, there are things ordinary Kiwis can do, too. Donate money to groups like Lifewise or volunteer at a shelter. Or, open up your home to immigrants and genderqueer people. I promise we don't bite.

And if you are a landlord or head tenant: don't discriminate against someone because they're an immigrant or queer. So, we may be a bit different than you might be. Big deal. Think of it this way: how would you want to be treated if you were in our positions?

Again, home is where the heart is. But first, we need to be able to have homes.