KEY POINTS:
Juggling a career and family is one of the most difficult life balances to achieve.
Being a working mum is manageable; the key is in the planning. Often finances dictate a return date to work, but if you can cope with a decrease in pay, try easing back into working life with a shorter week or reduced daily hours, or by sharing maternity leave entitlements with your partner.
If returning full-time, start back on a Wednesday, so your first week is shorter, and you can fine-tune your daily schedule.
In turn, you may be surprised at how easily you return to work and how ready you are for some mental stimulus outside of the home. Working life can determine a shape for your day, making it easier to prioritise tasks.
Sharon Cresswell, partner, advisory, at PricewaterhouseCoopers, loved being back at work after Thomas (now 26 months) arrived. Her second baby is due in November.
"I took six months off with Tom and returned back to work on a four-day week. I'm still doing that.
"Six months off was perfect. I was ready to come back and have more meaningful conversations than formula-driven ones. I found the first few months transitioning really good.
"We have a lot of mums come back part-time. I was lucky that my husband was able to take six months' paternity leave after I came back. Actually, he is still doing the childcare at home.
"I think that is why I found it easy to come back as I literally get up, get dressed and creep out of the house before anybody else wakes. And then I make sure I get home nice and early to get a bit of play time and get dinner."
That doesn't mean she escapes the guilt trap many working mums battle. "I was walking downtown and I saw a little boy about the same age as Tom and I though, 'Oh I want to see Tom today, and it doesn't happen'."
Preparing for your return
Galia BarHava-Monteith and Sarah Wilshaw-Sparkes have both made the transition from career women to working mums. They run an on-line community for professional women at www.professionelle.co.nz.
BarHava-Monteith reckons having a good childcare arrangement is the most important factor to get right when returning to work. Childcare centres tend to have long waiting lists and great nannies can be hard to find.
"The most difficult thing about going back to work is leaving your child with strangers. The transition back to work is that much harder if you don't have total peace of mind about your child's wellbeing."
Trina Lincoln, senior associate at law firm Kensington Swan*, found some childcare centres had two-year waiting lists when she was returning to work after having Oliver, now 22 months old.
She put his name down at three or four centres but kept ringing the centre she preferred until a place became available. "You have to be persistent."
Choose when to go back
Extended parental leave of up to 52 weeks is available for employees with 12 months' eligible service. You can return to work earlier but you must talk this through with your employer. If you are continuing breastfeeding, you need to work through the logistics of this, too, including an area where you feel comfortable, and scheduling feeds.
Cresswell weaned Thomas by the time she returned to work, but she did find breastfeeding difficult on the occasions she popped into work during maternity leave. "Even for us, we have nice facilities but we've only really got a sick room to go to [for breastfeeding]. With open-plan offices, it's all glass doors. I'd rather go somewhere more private. So I would go to the shopping mall where they had lovely mother/baby rooms."
While you are on leave
Maintain contact by meeting workmates for coffee, or by telephone and emails.
BarHava-Monteith says, "Going back, especially after your first baby, can be daunting. Keeping in touch with colleagues will ensure you have people to talk to as you work through your first days and weeks back."
In preparation for returning to work, Lincoln shared the parenting role. "I am so lucky with my husband, he would do half of everything. Because I knew I was going back to work, we made sure at the start that we learnt everything together.
"Like, today, Guy picks Oliver up, takes him home and gives him dinner. I'll get home about six and he'll be bathed and everything."
And she made sure her baby was used to other people, too. "Oliver was on a bottle very early because I had trouble breastfeeding. So I made sure that other people would give him his bottle, like grandparents or friends, at least twice a week so he knew other people could take care of him." The Lincolns also have another baby on the way, due late October.
Two weeks before you return
Work out how much time you will need each workday to wake, dress, and feed yourself and your baby, and travel to child care and work. It's a good idea to do a trial run, staying with your child at their carer's place until they settle and leaving them there for short time so both you and the child get used to the change in routine.
Back at work
Keep in touch with your baby. Pin up his/her photo, and phone your carer to see how they are doing. Accept that you will feel guilty at times about your new dual role.
BarHava-Monteith says, "What distinguishes the working mothers who make the transition successfully and enjoyably, with sanity and soul intact, is that they are clear about their priorities in life. They know not to sweat the small stuff. They know they have to make compromises and make them without regrets.
"But it does take time. We don't know any working mothers who have it all together from the word go."
Lincoln says, "You have to let your standards slip and get over the guilt.
"Often I would think 'I'm not doing a very good job as a mother, I'm not doing a very good job at work', but that's not the reality when you talk to your colleagues and your family. They actually see you as a supermum; and it's hard sometimes to remember that."
Cresswell's advice for working mums is to find ways of making your life and work as simple as possible. "It's important that you are happy with your dual role; and remember you don't have to be Superwoman!"
Working mums:
* Prepare your clothes and your child's clothes and daycare the night before. It saves a rush in the morning.
* Make "me time". A half hour of walking, reading or catching up with a friend for coffee works wonders as a "battery recharger".
* Get someone to help with the housework. If you are working fulltime this is an essential requirement, not a luxury.
* Invest in time-saving devices and practices. Get a dishwasher, make a double serving of meals so you can eat one and freeze the other. Don't feel guilty about quick meals or the occasional takeaway.
* Talk to other working mums, share your concerns and ask them for tips on juggling the work/family/life balance.
* If exercise is important, schedule it into your week. Either diary it into your working day or make a regular time outside of work.
* Get as much rest as possible. Most new parents suffer fatigue and sometimes you will feel like you have two jobs, one paid, one unpaid.
