Appetite for change

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Is it my imagination or is there a distinct whiff of veggie schadenfreude rising out of the swine flu hysteria?

Certainly the carnivore lifestyle seems to be getting a bashing like never before - in blogs and even in newspaper stories along the lines of "this is what meat-eaters get for their intensive farming methods" and "is this our comeuppance for inhumane practices in livestock production?" All this when, despite tests on some vast pig complex in Mexico, the jury is still very much out about swine flu.

Theories range from rogue virus this, rogue virus that, to human-animal proximity, environmental changes and so on. The one thing we can probably all agree on is that the swine flu outbreak probably isn't due to rampant vegetarianism, though with the best will in the world, even I, a lifelong veggie, find this rather a flimsy premise for such schadenfreude. Indeed, far from going with the anti-carnivore mood, on reflection I think I'll pass, mainly on the grounds that where swine flu is concerned, everyone - be they veggie, carnivore or otherwise - seems to be sitting in the same leaky boat.

What is the point of this bizarre air of vegetarian sanctimony? It's not as if it gives non-meat eaters an advantage, unless I have missed an important news bulletin and vegetarians are going to get a free pass from swine flu, like some kind of cosmic gym note from Mum.

Sadly, there is scant (make that zilch) evidence that swine flu is any big respecter of the vegetarian lifestyle. Those pesky flu bugs aren't going to tactfully pass us by. There will be no point in waving signs at them, reading: "Not me, I haven't had a sausage roll since 1994." Vegetarians are just going to have to accept that in this instance getting our hands on Tamiflu is more important than anything we've ever done with tofu.

We must accept, furthermore, that while swine flu is being widely perceived as a wake-up call for carnivores, maybe this applies to us, too. There lies my core problem with veggie schadenfreude - I don't feel I've earned the right. While there are vegetarians who are selflessly active in animal welfare, presumably the vast majority are like me, passive vegetarians, who do beggar-all.

Sure, we don't eat living things, but that's about it. Mainly we just loll around, feeling we've done our bit and expect our veggie sainthood to arrive in the post anytime soon. Not much to get self-righteous about there then. It's especially shameful as, in recent times, certain high-profile carnivores, in particular prominent chefs (Heston Blumenthal, Jamie Oliver, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall), have been vigorously campaigning for better conditions for the animals they cook and eat, all the while incurring endless scorn from a credit-crunched media and public hellbent on denouncing them as "worthy, out-of-touch poshos".

So there you have it. On the one hand, diehard carnivores who are active on behalf of the animals they eat; on the other, passive vegetarians who are somewhat inactive on behalf of the animals they don't eat. Going along with the current dubious climate of veggie schadenfreude for one moment, which group most deserves to catch swine flu? Obviously neither. No one deserves to catch something so horrible.

Perhaps it's time to stop lazy, ideological point-scoring and learn some proper lessons here. Whether swine flu has anything to do with the conditions in which we do or don't keep livestock, this could be a real opportunity for vegetarians and carnivores alike to decide once and for all that no animal deserves cruel treatment in any circumstances, that to allow it to happen diminishes us all as human beings, and actually come together to do something about it.

With this in mind, maybe it's time for passive veggies to put aside any unseemly, unearned schadenfreude and - who knows - become as useful and active on behalf of animals as some of those noisy carnivores.

- OBSERVER