Moa sang at Gray’s wedding in 2012 and Gray says she was awestruck by the singer’s talent. But that talent comes at a cost. At the time Moa had no idea about her ADHD and had spent years struggling with her mental health.
“You go through all this turmoil”, she says. “‘What am I? Why am I this way? Why am I failing in life?’ When in effect, you’re not failing in life … you’re amazing. But there’s something missing and that’s your diagnosis”.
ADHD coach Alex Campbell says this “turmoil” is common because there’s a general lack of understanding about ADHD. “The default for an ADHD brain is interest, not importance. Motivation comes from an emotional response, or by what’s interesting to them. That’s the fuel mechanism”.
Campbell says this is why things like prioritising tasks or paying bills can be so difficult – regardless of how much effort is put in. “It might be important, but there’s no emotion attached. That’s until you get the fifth notice saying they’re going to reclaim your couch. Then you pay the bill right away, because all of a sudden there’s anxiety, and anxiety is ‘interesting’. Interest is both positive and negative. It’s not a moral thing”.
Those who are undiagnosed or don’t understand their differences often struggle with their mental health. “You’re essentially living on a diet of anxiety and urgency as a way to muddle on through life”, he says.
ADHD medication use by adults has risen tenfold in the past 16 years and the number of adults seeking assessments has skyrocketed too.
Gray says several factors contribute to this, including Covid lockdowns, changes to diagnostic criteria and a better understanding of what ADHD “looks like” in women.
“Plus people are talking about it. When you see someone in an interview or on social media and you recognise that experience in yourself – it can be life-changing. Suddenly there’s an answer!”
Moa took a few years to accept her ADHD diagnosis but tells Gray she now finds it fascinating.
“Boredom is in me inherently all the time” she says, “But I love talking to [other ADHDers]. Our conversation is fast and it’s interesting and we go all over the place, but neurotypical people probably wouldn’t have a clue what we’re talking about!”
Listen to the full episode to hear more from Anikia Moa about her experience with ADHD, and for more insights from Alex Campbell.
No Such Thing as Normal is an NZ Herald podcast, hosted by Sonia Gray, with new episodes available every Saturday.
Season One won Best History & Documentary Podcast at the 2024 NZ Radio and Podcast Awards, and was one of Apple Podcast’s Most Shared series in 2023.
The series was made with the support of NZ on Air.
You can listen to it on iHeartRadio, Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
