Campbell says it’s important to understand that ADHD brains have a different motivational system; one that’s driven by interest, rather than importance. “This isn’t about willpower,” he says. “The brain is looking for stimulation. If something is not interesting, it’s much harder to engage.”
But we live in a world that expects us to prioritise what’s important. So over time, those with ADHD find ways of compensating, developing systems to try to keep them on track. For some, it’s hypervigilance: a constant scanning of what might be missed. For others, it’s hyper-independence: a reluctance to ask for help for fear of being exposed.
“There’s often a sense of, ‘I can’t let people see what’s really going on’,” Campbell says. “So people put a huge amount of effort into holding it together.”
Recent research suggests ADHD may involve differences in how mental effort is experienced, helping explain why some simple tasks can feel hard to initiate. Motivation is also closely linked to emotional intensity, and regulating emotions can be challenging for adults with ADHD.
In practice, that can mean a reliance on internal pressure to function.
“The inner critic is actually very activating,” Campbell says. “It’s interesting to the brain. But it also keeps people stuck in a negative loop.”
Using anxiety and urgency as fuel to get things done is common in those with ADHD. Outwardly, it can look like coping – even success – but it often comes at a cost.
The long-term impact can be higher levels of chronic stress and burnout in adults with ADHD, particularly those who appear to have it all together.
So what’s the alternative? Rather than trying to override and push through, Campbell suggests a different approach: understanding how your brain works and building from there.
He says a big part of that lies in recognising personal strengths. “Strengths aren’t about toxic positivity,” he says. “They’re about truth. They help you connect with what actually engages you.”
ADHD strengths often include curiosity, creativity and empathy, and these can be harnessed to help engage in less interesting tasks. Strengths are not a soft add-on, but rather a way of creating a more sustainable system; one that doesn’t rely on pressure, masking, or constant self-correction to keep going.
Because for many people with ADHD, the question isn’t whether they can function, it’s whether the way they’re functioning is sustainable.
No Such Thing as Normal is an NZ Herald podcast, hosted by Sonia Gray, with new episodes available every Saturday.
Made with the support of NZ on Air.
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