KEY POINTS:
I'm a slim, summer, hourglass who doesn't suit black.
My denim hat gets the tick, my pashmina is admired for its bright colour, but my puffer jacket is no good, and my black top a disaster.
Within seconds, former commercial, film and magazine stylist Coby Haimes has assessed me.
And she has done it without blurting it out rudely or grabbing my backside. She never points or prods at my cleavage, as do brash British counterparts, Trinny and Susannah, who poked and prodded their way around the country this year.
Haimes also makes no derogatory comment about the chipped blue nail polish, left there on purpose I tell her later, to "test" her reaction.
She admits she had clocked the cringe-worthy style gaffe immediately. "It's noticeable." We sip on lattes and chat about clothes - Haimes is flattering, unpretentious and has a way with words. Talking to her is like chatting to your best mate - except the conversation is all about you.
"I work with body shapes," she says, referring to the Trinny and
Susannah shape phenomenon that led to her new Westfield role.
"But I'm also about how to highlight your best features and simplify your challenges."
So we hit Portmans and, armed with the knowledge that blue-based colours are the way to go for a summer hourglass such as myself, I give the stylist just five minutes to find me two outfits.
The denim dress is one I would never have picked, but according to Haimes it could be one of my "key pieces", the essential, versatile "neutral" garments that are the base of any good wardrobe.
Teamed with cute sandals and turquoise bangles, it is comfortable, and defines my waist - I'm convinced.
The more formal frock is a dark hot pink. Silver and black jewellery complete the look. I feel like a Paris Hilton-inspired princess.
