Tragic choice for mum-to-be

Terminally-ill Jolene Patuawa-Tuilave with baby Lui. Photo / APN

A 33-year-old cancer sufferer who died last month had to make the ultimate choice - her baby or her life.

Prominent Maori lawyer Jolene Patuawa-Tuilave died on June 26 when her baby son Lui was just 10 weeks old. She left behind husband Rob and step-daughter Vitolia, 6.

Patuawa-Tuilave, from Papamoa, Bay of Plenty, had previously beaten breast cancer after being diagnosed on her 30th birthday in 2006.

But after learning she was pregnant with Lui, she was told within days that the cancer had returned.

Patuawa-Tuilave was told by doctors she needed treatment to survive, but they could not treat her if she was pregnant.

"Basically what it came down to was she had a choice, baby or life. She chose the baby," said colleague and friend Spencer Webster.

"I suppose that's an indicator of her bravery. She was pretty strong - you have to be strong to make that call. She was pretty awesome really.

"That's the sort of person she was. She thought, 'I'm going to beat this anyway, I'll show them'.

"I remember when she told me about it, she was pretty certain that's the way it had to be. She was confident [she could beat cancer]."

Baby Lui was born on April 14 weighing 1920g (4lb 4oz). And just 10 weeks later, on June 26, Patuawa-Tuilave passed away in the arms of her husband, surrounded by family and friends.

Her stepmother Jacqui Patuawa, speaking on behalf of the family, said having baby Lui was a "dream come true" for Patuawa-Tuilave.

"Spending time with Rob and her two children will be what Jolene misses most, and what would have made the knowledge that she was dying most painful," Jacqui said.

Jolene and Rob, who married in October last year, were described as "best friends and soul-mates".

Patuawa-Tuilave was remembered as a selfless person who protected and nurtured her loved ones, and those who needed support.

"She is a huge loss to us all, we will miss her every day of our lives, but we are so incredibly proud of her achievements, both personal and professional, in her short life," Jacqui said.

Patuawa-Tuilave, who was of Ngati Whatua/ Ngapuhi descent, was the co-president of the Maori Law Society at the time of her death. She was a partner at Jackson Reeves law firm after returning to Tauranga in May last year. A graduate of the University of Otago, she specialised in Treaty, environmental and Maori law.

Maori Law Society co-president Damian Stone said Patuawa-Tuilave was a "staunch and tireless worker for Maoridom".

"She was an incredibly smart and gifted lawyer who fought, often with great personal sacrifice, for the recognition and protection of Treaty rights."

Patuawa-Tuilave's tangi was held at Taita Marae in Dargaville, with more than 300 people attending the funeral, including 50 lawyers and judges.