Big Buddy tackles lack of Māori male role models in the home

Figures show Māori are facing a lack of male role models in the home. Reporter James Baker from Māori TV's current affairs show Te Ao with Moana looks at the Māori men trying to give back what was lost through the Big Buddy mentoring programme.

At 70 years old, Paul Harrison still remembers the last time he saw his father, as a 7-year-old boy standing at the edge of his driveway watching the ambulance pull away from their Hāwera home.

"That left a really big mark on me ... at that age, you don't really have time to comprehend what's happening in front of you."

He says the following years were a blur of rage and loneliness.

"I was an angry boy, a very angry boy.

"I can remember vividly as a young man kicking a wall in our home. I don't know why I did it but I can remember thinking ... this sucks, this absolutely sucks."

In Aotearoa, his story is far from uncommon.

Roughly 14 per cent of boys between the age of 7 to 14 are raised in a home with a single mother, for Māori this figure rises to 22 per cent.

But the consequences of these numbers extend beyond the pain of a lonely childhood. Studies in the US show that young boys raised without a significant male role model face an increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse and teen suicide.

Statistics gathered by the Texas Department of Corrections noted that the young men without fathers had an imprisonment rate 20 times higher than the rest of the population.

And while research on the subject is scarce in Aotearoa, as a former mental health nurse, Harrison says there's no doubt that the experience of growing into the world without a father has a significant effect on the nation's tamariki.

The Big Buddy programme began in 1996 as part of a larger move towards preventative mental health services aimed specifically at men and boys. Screenshot / Māori Television

"One of the things I've noticed over the years is the estrangement of young boys in society due to that absence ... there are issues of alienation, trouble forming relationships."

"And I stand here proudly Māori, the statistic for Māori boys in trouble with the law, with drugs, with alcohol, whatever is huge ... and I believe that is in a large part due to that.

"Māori have lost a lot, and one of the things we haven't got is enough male role models."

But for Harrison, this knowledge, and the pain of his experience, has become a catalyst to give back what was lost and take on the role of mentor to 11-year-old Malachai-Sean through the Big Buddy programme.

Mentoring Manager Nic Heywood says the programme began in 1996, as part of a larger move towards preventative mental health services aimed specifically at men and boys.

"There was this whole idea around, instead of treating grown men who were already in the justice system, let's see what we can do to step in before that point.

"A big discussion, at least for young boys, was what we used to call rites of passage. That was a process of older men taking younger men and bringing them into manhood, a process you'll find throughout the indigenous cultures throughout the world."

Big Buddy candidates are vigorously screened through multiple interviews, psychological profiles and background checks and are required to commit to spending a minimum of three hours per week with their Little Buddy.

The programme has matched more than 900 boys between the age of 7 to 14 with male mentors.

However, Heywood says, for years there was a lack of tangata whenua mentors within the programme.

Paul Harrison: "I can remember vividly as a young man kicking a wall in our home." Screenshot / Māori Television

Out of more than 50 pairings carried out in 2016, only one Big Buddy matched that year was Māori.

But there has been a surge of change in recent years, with nine Māori candidates taking on the role in 2019.

Heywood says the positive impact on the Little Buddy is obvious.

"You see these little guys doing things like waiting at the door, for the Big Buddy, peeking out the window in anticipation. I know pairs who have stayed in contact for decades, given the speech at a Little Buddy's wedding.

"The power of that relationship is huge."

And after nine months as a Big Buddy, Harrison says the time and commitment required is more than worth it.

"This has probably been one of the most special things I've ever done in my life. It's something I think I'll do till the day I die."

• Te Ao with Moana screens on Māori TV On Demand, Mondays, 8pm