TikTok user @channingstatum posted the video, highlighting what has been dubbed the “millennial Instagram aesthetic” and, let me tell you, it does not make us look good.
In her video, captioned “Dear Millennials, we just want what’s best for you”, the TikTok creator gives us, her elders, five tips for creating better Instagram stories.
“I work with a lot of Millennials at my work and I’m sort of the resident Gen Z,” she says.
“They make fun of me for it constantly, but they always compliment my Instagram stories. I don’t think they’re that aesthetic, I just think I’m Gen Z and I know how to use Instagram.”
Pack away the sunscreen because this is some serious shade. But that’s all good, Millennials have thick skins, much due to the years of Boomers blaming us for the collapse of society and everything they hold dear.
While we may be bad at Instagram, we are pretty good at is taking on constructive feedback. Which is why I, a millennial, would like to publicly admit that Nicole is absolutely right and I should really take her tips on board because, if inflation, climate change, pandemics and wars are ruining my actual life, I could at least put some effort into the curation of my online one. But, like most Millennials, I am permanently tired and, sorry, but I probably won’t.
If you, on the other hand, can be bothered to level up your Instagram and do it like the cool kids, here are her tips for improving your Instagram stories are moving away from the dreaded “Millennial aesthetic”:
1. Always post vertical content to your stories. Your photos should be taken with 0.5 zoom and your videos should not be longer than 10 seconds (I agree, I don’t have the attention span for anything longer than that these days).
2. Always use the serif font. Absolutely no bold and definitely no comic sans.
3. Never slant your text.
4. No filters, no gifs, no emojis. Yes, you read that right - none of those.
5. Use location tags in a “low key” way.
6. “Ghost tag” your friends. “Ghost” tagging can be done in many different ways, such as making the font of your tag really tiny, dragging it down to the bottom of the screen or making it the same colour as the image so it cannot be easily seen.
7. Don’t add music to your Instagram story and definitely do not add the option to have the lyrics on it.
By following these rules, you too can momentarily feel cool and hip again even though your back hurts all the time and your dream Friday night involves being in bed by 9pm.
Nicole’s TikTok videos proved fairly controversial, judging by the hundreds of comments they received, with wildly varied positions on the topic. There were a few Millennials who admitted to “feeling attacked” while others pointed out that Instagram is, itself, a Millennial tool.
“We walked so you can run, babe,” one Millennial commented.
Some Millennials recognised themselves in the video and promised to adopt the tips, while others accepted the generational differences but refused to change their ways. “Taylor Swift did not write 229 perfect songs for me to not use them in every single one of my stories,” one person quite rightly pointed out.
Look, it’s a tough time for Millennials everywhere - we’re essentially the vegan meat in the generational sandwich. Boomers think we’re entitled so-and-sos, Zoomers think we’re deeply uncool. We’re poor, we’re tired and no one thinks we’re cool anymore.
And while the TikTok videos were useful and well-intentioned, perhaps there is a middle ground here where we can accept the generational differences but still choose to stick to our old ways. I, for one, choose to stay embarrassingly and unapologetically uncool, rather than cosplaying as a cool person online.
You can pry my gifs out of cold, dead Millennial hands.
