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Home / Entertainment

Which Game of Thrones storyline do you care least about?

NZ Herald
13 Jul, 2017 02:00 AM5 mins to read

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We're just a week away from the return of Game of Thrones. So the Herald's entertainment team decided to spend all week talking about it. Here's our fourth instalment: The Game of Thrones storylines we care about the least. Read on to find which characters and plotlines truly test our patience...

Joanna Hunkin: I'm only a recent Thrones convert. For years I resisted, put off by the words "epic", "fantasy" and "dragons". There is nothing less appealing in my universe than the word fantasy. But then someone convinced me it was less dungeons and dragons (although to be fair, both those things still feature regularly) and more political thriller. So I tentatively started watching the first season and was instantly hooked. The scheming and power play was addictive. I loved the Lannisters and their ruthless plotting. But when the cameras swoop north and we head over the wall, I'm out. I didn't care about the wildlings, I'm not interested in magical trees and I really, really do not care about the White Walkers. They just feel like a cheap - and unnecessary - stunt. Game of Thrones is dramatic enough without resorting to abominable snowmen on crack.

The White Walker storylines have truly tested our patience. Photo / supplied
The White Walker storylines have truly tested our patience. Photo / supplied

Chris Schulz: For too long now, Game of Thrones has relied on Daenerys as a simple but effective way to wrap up an episode. How many times have we seen the show end with a shot of Daenerys' growing power, building up an army, and fattening up her dragons while claiming territory in iEssos, miles away from Westeros where the rest of the action is taking place. It's become such a cliche, a neat little bow tied up at the end of an episode, I started tuning out of her storyline by season three, and now I barely care. That could change this season: seeing Daenerys finally attempt to wrestle control of the Seven Kingdoms from every other contender is surely the showdown set to end this seventh season. Daenerys vs Cersei? Bring it. Daenerys just has to get her and her dragons to Westeros first.

Photo / supplied
Photo / supplied
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Karl Puschmann: The storyline that I really dgaf about is all the snow zombie nonsense. Even though that's what the whole thing is all about. Which yes, is a little bit awkward.

Problem is that I really don't care. I've already had to yawn through a whole episode dedicated to fighting them and I am not at all looking forward to the many more battles that are no doubt coming up. They're just so boring!

And here's why: The action's fine, but there's just no stakes. What I loved about Game of Thrones was that it made you feel something. You really wanted the good guys to win and you really wanted the bad guys to lose.

Does anyone feel anything, anything at all, about snow zombies?

Zombies are played out and it doesn't matter whether they're in a mall or a snowfield. Winter is coming. Dammit.

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George Fenwick: One of the main things Game of Thrones demands is to be taken very, very seriously. And for the most part, that's easy; it's brutal, brilliantly made, and the cast is spectacular, giving their all into complex characters with passionate, nuanced performances. For the most part, the fantasy elements - witches, dragons, snow zombies - work for me. But of all the ridiculous things the creators could dream up that could truly squander the show's credibility and test my ability to take it seriously, it'd be an unnecessary cameo from Ed Sheeran.

But would you look at that: It's literally happening.

Give me the befuddling White Walkers, or the dreary monotones of King Boring (Jon Snow) over this any day. Sheeran is already gratingly famous; we don't need him in the biggest television show in the world. Whatever bit-part or background role they've given to the pop star, I couldn't care less.

Photo / supplied
Photo / supplied

Rachel Bache: I really could not care less about evil uncle Euron and his bid to take out Theon and Yara Greyjoy. Sure, there are rumours that he might try team up with Cersei to take out Dany ... but ... meh! I feel like they're trying to set him up as some badass villain, but I'm just not feeling it.

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The apathy levels are high when it comes to Euron. In terms of lameness he even beats out Sam and Gilly who probably have one of the most boring storylines in the whole show, along with the Sand Snake girl squad - but at least the addition of Olenna Tyrell (who is sassy AF) could breathe some much needed life into that plotline this season. Fingers crossed.

Catch up on our other instalments here:

• Which storyline are we most invested in?
• Which character do we most want to die next?
• Our Game of Thrones fantasies revealed

And check out our Thrones podcast here, which may or may not be the worst Game of Thrones podcast in the world:

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