I pity any poor artist invited to exhibit here, wailed a European man as he came out of the Giardini, the main exhibition area at this year's Venice Biennale. Only hours into the press preview events and the critics' knives were out for some.
There is an easy answer for
whatever was ailing the European critic/curator - don't put your art out at the oldest, most prestigious art event in the world if you can't take the odd hit.
No matter what you were thinking while you were conceiving your masterpiece back home, there will always be someone who doesn't like it.
Having caught a glimpse of the New Zealand exhibition, Michael Parekowhai's On First Looking into Chapman's Homer, I doubt the harshest critic would find much to moan about. In many ways, people seek out New Zealand at Venice because they want to see a reflection of the country, one they may never visit.
That's not fair on the artist, but given our geographical isolation this isn't going to change. New Zealand the place, and its biennale artist, will continue to be seen as a package deal.
Audacious, exquisitely made, bold and confident - Parekowhai's work can be enjoyed for its visual impudence alone, even without delving into the political and cultural messages within.
With its opulent carved Steinway piano, painted a brilliant pillar box red, and two blackened bronze pianos with bulls on top, the life-size sculpture of his brother as a security guard and a small bronze olive tree, Parekowhai fills the Palazzo Loredan dell'Ambasciatore on the Grand Canal with an ease that belies the complexity of the work.
The artist would rather let his art do the talking, while he waits for the work to unfold.
He's pleased with how it all looks on the eve of the Vernissage preview, which lasted for three days before today's grand opening.
"It was always made for the venue. It's almost as good as I could have imagined," he says. "But after it was shown back home, it's now about it being in its intended venue."
Which makes the stakes a lot higher than the private showing he had at his studio in West Auckland.
New Zealand has been lucky to find a particularly attractive venue this time in a waterfront palazzo with a large rear garden, and a supportive building owner in Filippo Gaggia, who says, "I'm really pleased to have works that I really like and a permanent concert on the ground floor [referring to the piano which will be played every day]."
Owners who rent their palazzo are often apprehensive whether they will have to spend five months living with a work they hate. The opposite is the case here.
There is also a refreshing lack of hysteria about New Zealand's set-up this time.
It's too early for the important international reviews to come in, but there is an air of quiet confidence about the exhibition. A lot of that is down to New Zealand Commissioner Jenny Harper, whose day job as head of Christchurch Art Gallery has been more than demanding over the past nine months. But she carried on her work for Venice.
"I think it is a great privilege to work with artists and stand by them as they present in Venice and I think over time the flavours of New Zealand art have become apparent to the many visitors at every Biennale."
With this one they might have nailed it - this is the fifth New Zealand representation at Venice - and that throws up the question of future commitment to the event.
What a difference a decade makes. Back in 2001, a tiny group of New Zealanders, wide-eyed and over-awed, set up the first exhibition at the Venice Biennale. It wasn't only the money that was tight. Contacts with international curators, dealers and directors were a bit thin too.
They were curious but although some relationships had been established, the hard job of making connections with a bigger group, including international media, was yet to be done.
Still, the doors opened and lessons were learned:
* Don't try to get New Zealand mussels flown in for the opening.
* Do shoulder-tap well-heeled individuals and ask them to join a patrons' group. There is always money out there for a good cause.
* Realise New Zealand is a tiny presence in Venice, which is hosting about 80 countries this year.
* Do design carefully planned, targeted marketing to the people you want to sit up and take notice.
* Consider that perhaps we should have taken up Australia's offer to join them in their pavilion in the Giardini (the main exhibition area) and have an art Downunder hub (it works for the Scandinavian countries).
Australia got the very last spot in the Giardini back in the 1980s. New Zealand was rumoured to have been offered it first, but that particular Labour Government couldn't see the value of it, let alone work out how to fund it.
In 2001, under the hand of Helen Clark as Prime Minister and Arts Minister, and the persistence of the current Arts Minister but then chair of the Creative New Zealand arts council, Chris Finlayson, New Zealand was finally able to take its place at La Biennale. And if the most recent CNZ arts council chair Alistair Carruthers gets his way, going to Venice will be as accepted as attending Cannes.
"We've got a commitment until 2013 and I would be incredibly disappointed if we didn't keep going. We are just starting to establish a really good position in Venice."
Networking aside, he points out that presenting work in an international context raises the standards for all New Zealand artists. "We do Venice for a very reasonable price, given the benefits we receive, so I want to keep talking about us having a presence here long-term."
Carruthers has a point. If there is a commitment to return after 2013, the politicians are keeping very quiet. Surely they can't can it because of the cost when they are facing a $700 million-plus blowout for the Rugby World Cup.
They could question the intangible benefits, which are almost identical to those promoted by the World Cup supporters - New Zealand taking its place on the world stage, attracting a high-calibre, affluent audience who might see the art, then visit.
Does that sound familiar? If you relate it to our presence at Cannes, a yearly event that goes largely unnoticed, then a commitment to Venice is mandatory.
Jenny Harper agrees that ending our presence at Venice would be foolhardy in terms of keeping up contacts and benefits that have been hard won over the years.
"New Zealand's reputation is enhanced as a place of culture and creativity."
Our Government will be aware too that a significant number of the private donors to New Zealand at Venice are also their strongest supporters and they expect some recognition for that support.
Dayle Mace has been building up that support for the past few years as head of the Venice patrons - and she has raised a significant sum of money without which New Zealand would struggle to put on much of a show at all.
She is all smiles in Venice, delighted with the show, the support and the positive way it has been received.
"We've got the biggest group of patrons ever and I'm really grateful for their support. And we've got the biggest group to actually come over here, so I'm really enjoying that."
Mace deserves to have some wins. Back in 2005, she had a Biennale baptism by fire with the debate and discussion surrounding the collective et.al and their exhibition.
The bureaucrats have never quite recovered from that, and a solution to the nerves that still linger around this event would be wresting control from them and placing it with a foundation, similar to how the Sydney Biennale is run. Based in Auckland, where the majority of the money comes from, it could bring some stability and benefits to our future presence in Venice.
Walking around the Giardini during the press preview and checking out the big guns of the event - Britain, the United States, France, Germany, Russia, the Scandinavian pavilion, Japan and Italy - there is still a novelty factor when it comes to visiting the New Zealand show.
Other media are curious and definitely keen to drop by. New Zealand is no longer a Venice virgin; by 2013 it will be entering its teenagehood in terms of the years it has been involved in the Biennale.
Hopefully, like all hormonally charged brats, it will be prepared to push at the boundaries, assert its personality and plunge towards adulthood.
* Josie McNaught travelled to Venice courtesy of Cathay Pacific.
Venice Biennale
What: On First Looking into Chapman's Homer, by Michael Parekowhai
Where and when: Palazzo Loredan dell'Ambasciatore, Grand Canal, from today until November 27
Online: labiennale.org/en/art; nzatvenice.com
Venice show hits the bull's eye
Michael Parekowhai. Photo / Supplied
I pity any poor artist invited to exhibit here, wailed a European man as he came out of the Giardini, the main exhibition area at this year's Venice Biennale. Only hours into the press preview events and the critics' knives were out for some.
There is an easy answer for
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