Twelve Questions: Perri Exeter

Perri Exeter is a choreographer and dance teacher at Rutherford College, West Auckland, where her students got the best scholarship results in New Zealand. She talks about her latest work, which celebrates her late uncle Steve Rickard — the pro wrestler behind the TV show On the Mat.

1.When did you start dancing?
Mum put me in ballet lessons when I was 4. I went to a community hall in Napier with a lady who had been teaching for over 40 years. I'm grateful mum did that because it just taught me a lot about respect and discipline, but I didn't really enjoy ballet. I did it for 12 or 13 years but I always knew, "it doesn't feel right in my body, it doesn't look right in my body. Is there another way that I can dance?" It wasn't until I was 18 that I discovered modern dance.

2. What do you remember about your uncle, professional wrestling champion Steve Rickard?
Well, we knew him as Merv. His real name was Merv Batt. He was a gentle giant, super wise, always had a story to tell but he would sit back and listen first. He was my dad's brother-in-law, he married my Auntie Lorraine. They had the Hutt Park Hotel in Lower Hutt and we used to spend Christmases with them. He was a wrestling legend and I didn't know this! I've watched On the Mat online. It is comical, but they're so serious. I'm not being disrespectful, I'm just giggling because obviously it's retro. But he's so passionate when he's commentating. I'm like, 'wow, you love this the way I love dance'. There are parallels between the two. Auntie Lorraine and Uncle Merv loved to dance. They were really good; they used to go to socials and waltz and they were in a group called The Frivs [Napier Frivolity Minstrels].

3. Was your mother the proverbial ballet mother?
She was involved but no, she wasn't one of those crazy mothers. She did invest a lot of her own time and money; she spent more on my lessons than she did on herself. My mum is ridiculously selfless. She's a London Eastender and she's endured so much in her life. She gave up everything to go and look after her sister when she was dying in the UK. She came back to a not-great financial situation and was diagnosed with breast cancer. In the past few years she turned it all around financially, physically and emotionally, just through mental strength. She's a legend, the strongest person I know. She always had an eye for things that were a little bit different and that's where I think I get my creative buzz from. I remember feeling really stink because she had bought this material for my tutu; it was a sort of metallic paua shell print and much more New Age than everyone else's classic tutus. I thought, 'oh no I'm standing out for the wrong reasons'. Now I would rock that tutu!

4. How did you discover modern dance?
They were establishing a dance course in Napier and a lady called Liz Davey was the head tutor; I went along and spoke to her and she just had this energy radiating from her. That led to me doing the course. She showed me what my options were if I wanted to pursue it - and one of those was going to Unitec in Mt Albert. So I shut up shop in Napier, where I'd been running my own dance studio, and came here.

5. How did you find moving to Auckland?
I knew nobody. Mum drove me up. The first three nights I remember trying to find any excuse to get her to stay another night. I was terrified, Auckland just seemed massive to me.

6. What has been your biggest career challenge?
I lacked confidence for such a long time. I had a perception that performers didn't think what I was doing as a teacher had as much worth as them being on stage. But I have a stable income and that gives me the freedom to pursue other stuff. Mum said to me, and this is no disrespect to performers, that one hour in that classroom is worth 100 hours on a stage, because it's about interaction between people. I want to take West Auckland kids to the next level and there's absolutely no truth behind the saying that if you can't do something, you teach it.

7. How do you find West Auckland teenagers?
When someone does well the rest of the kids just go nuts over it. They're funny, they've got stories to tell, they mock each other but they're never really mean. You always hear about the high and low decile schools but I think there's something amazing about middle decile schools. They're just normal kids and there's something beautiful about that.

8. How did you meet your partner?
We met through friends. He's a dancer with a professional company called Black Grace. We're similar people but from extremely different backgrounds - that's what we like about each other I think. He grew up in Samoa and West Auckland, wasn't a fan of school, started street dancing and found dance that way. Whereas I always had lessons. Compared to him I had way more opportunities at the start. I love Samoan culture. They're so family-oriented, the food is delicious, they make the time to all get together on a regular basis to eat and talk and hang out.

9. What were you like as a teenager?
I was a bit uncomfortable with myself. I was middle-of-the-road academically, and there was a lot of importance placed on academia at my school. I thought that I was dumb. I wish I could go back and tell myself "you're actually bright". I did get a really amazing group of friends who are kind of like sisters to me 10 years on.

10. Why have you had such great results as a teacher?
My expectations are high and teenagers, they won't admit it, love being challenged. And they just love the physicality of dance, though they don't realise that until they're pushed and pushed and pushed.

11. A lot of teenagers seem to breakfast on pies and fizzy drinks on the way to school. Do you ever talk to your students about nutrition?
Yeah I do, especially if we've got a show coming up, I say "I don't want to walk in here and see you with an energy drink and Wendy's!" I talk to them about what's going to give them energy and what's going to make them feel like shit in one hour. At the same time, they've got a point - that stuff is cheap and where can you get a salad around school? Or not even a salad, just a good nutritious sandwich?

12. In times of stress do you bust out lone dance sessions, like in Flashdance and Footloose?
No. I'd rather have a glass of wine and talk about it.

•Perri Exeter's work Beyond The Mat is on October 6 and 7 at Q Theatre as part of the Tempo Dance Festival. See tempo.co.nz for more details.