Who will Matty put up for the first elimination? Photo / TVNZ
Who will Matty put up for the first elimination? Photo / TVNZ
Day two on the island and it’s meat for breakfast for team fans and sleep apnoea for team faves as a snorer emerges from camp.
Is All Black legend Josh Kronfeld the culprit? Despite her best attempts to shift the blame, it’s in fact True Bliss alum Joe Cotton. “Ohbabe it’s like a chainsaw”, laughs Lance Savali, and Art Green says it’s less about volume and more about how “unending” it was.
“It’s like the waves of the ocean, but it’s like the waves of a chainsaw - reeeoorrr, reeeeooor”, the former Bachelor imitates.
Before anyone can catch a wink of sleep, it’s time for the first charity challenge of the season and team fans are up first. Crafty villain in the making Josh Oakley takes it out, with $5000 going to his chosen charity Big Buddy.
Before long, Savali is up to his old tricks, revealing he wants to align with one person, Matty McLean, but is Savali forgetting that he’s already aligned with his bromance buddy Green, and attempting to form one with fan Jane Yee?
“Cool kid Lance comes along and wants to be my friend,” laughs McLean, who is also forgetting he also has an alliance with Lana Searle.
Alex King reveals she didn’t know you can’t use live trees for firewood, and Kronfeld takes on the role of camp dad, sharing his knowledge, and stories and apparently boring Green to death. Green takes his shirt off to curb the boredom and the audience returns.
Next up it’s challenge time, and some dodgy-looking nachos are on the line. Lord knows that cheese is cold and that avocado is smouldering in the Fijian sun.
A blindfolded soccer game, mixed with foosball proves tricky for literally everyone and Katy Middleton’s nickname from the celebs is revealed as “Toddler”, due to her height and Adam O’Brien gets hit with the name “Goal shoot” due to looking like he plays indoor netball. I can’t explain any of this, but it feels right.
Green then takes a soccer ball to his manhood, curls up in pain and Savali smashes one in, the two things are not linked. Ultimately the coagulated nachos go home with team faves and they have the power of deciding who goes up for elimination that night.
Team faves are victorious and the power of elimination is in their hands. Photo / TVNZ
Savali then appears on what looks to be the backblocks of a pineapple farm and corners Yee to try to solidify their blossoming alliance. But like a woman scorned, Yee declares that she knows how Savali plays the game and doesn’t trust it. Savali is visibly taken aback - what do you mean he can’t have what he wants?
But like a bee to the honeypot, Yee snatches Savali from his beach walk and immediately tells him everything and agrees to partner with him. It’s giving calling your toxic ex after two pink wines, and it’s sure to give Yee a headache.
Yee then tells Savali that in order to know she can trust him and his alliance with McLean, he has to put Dave Ward up for elimination.
But if there’s one person who doesn’t want to go home it’s Wardie, who declares to Yee back at camp that she must use her swap card on him if the other team put him up for elimination.
After chatting to both his alliance mates, Searle and Savali, who don’t know each other have an alliance with him, winning captain McLean reveals it’s Josh Kronfeld v Wardie in tonight’s elimination battle.
Wardie instantly tells Yee that he can’t beat Kronfeld and a crafty Yee stands up without speaking to anyone in her team, plays her swap card and puts up Micah Marsh instead. We watch the young player’s fate being sealed and it’s honestly sad.
Wardie consoles Marsh after throwing him under the bus. Photo / TVNZ
But let’s digest this for a second more. Yee, saves Wardie, who she asked McLean to put up, and who told the captain what to do and was the only member of the team to declare how she must play her card. But put up for elimination a man who said he wasn’t great at puzzles, is genuinely lovely and can reach coconuts at the top of the trees without a ladder.
The challenge is of course puzzle based, with players using a paddle to transfer blocks within a small wire frame. Kronfeld flies through it with help from his team, but Marsh struggles as he told his captain he would. Our anger builds as Yee gives Marsh the wrong direction and we draft a page in our burn book with her name on it.
Kronfeld of course wins and gets a secret clue and it’s an absolutely tearful goodbye for Marsh who is sent home. Middleton sobs and Wardie pretends like he’s not thrilled that the lamb got sent to the slaughter instead of the ram. The move makes absolutely no sense, as the nicest man on reality television goes home and Yee’s save card is wasted on the man she asked to be put up.
“I should be the one going home,” reveals Wardie. Yes, yes you should be, replies literally everyone except Yee.
The exact moment Yee stabbed Marsh in the back. Photo / TVNZ
“I feel crook, I feel guilty and I feel like a bit of a chicken,” finishes Wardie.
Cluck, cluck Wardie. Cluck, cluck.
Treasure Island Fans v Faves airs 7.30pm on TVNZ 2, Monday-Wednesday and on TVNZ+
