The secret diary of ... Phil, Matilda, Julie, John and Phil

Matilda Rice, Julie Christie, John Campbell, and Phil Rudd: have been doing things.

Phil Rudd, Monday

I was lying around at home this morning with Candy or Brandy or maybe it was Roxy, although it could have been Houston or Paris or maybe it was Papamoa, it's so hard to keep track of their names, and said to whoever it was, "I need to do something".

She unbuttoned her blouse.

"No, something else," I said.

I stood at the window and looked at the harbour, and at Mt Maunganui, pale in the thin winter light.

She said, "You need to get out more."

Candy or whoever was right. But how can I leave? I'm stuck here to serve out my eight-month home detention sentence for minor charges such as threatening to kill. It's as bad as prison. "Make us a nice hot cup of tea, love," I said.

I stood and brooded and waited for my nice hot cup of tea all day. Perhaps she forgot. That's me, the forgotten man of rock. I was one of the world's greatest drummers for over 20 years during my time with AC/DC, but they don't return my calls. Fine. I don't want anything to do with those hypocrites. Highway to hell? They just sing it. I live it.

The phone rang. I snatched at it, and said, "That you, Angus? When are we going back on the road?"

It was my lawyer, Craig Tuck. He said, "Just calling to remind you that you're due at the Tauranga District Court tomorrow."

"What are the bastards after me for this time?"

"Alleged breach of sentencing conditions."

"Bastards."

I stood at the window and looked at the harbour and at Mt Maunganui, glowing in bright sunlight. I felt great for the first time in weeks. I'll be out of the house tomorrow.

Matilda Rice, Tuesday

OMG people have no sense of humour anymore, first it's like they accuse Art of going in blackface to Colin's party when actually he did it as a mark of respect for black people, and now it's like they don't get I'm joking when I tweet that a sales assistant called me a bitch for not donating $2 to charity when it's not like $2 would of gone far.

Julie Christie, Wednesday

I'm honoured to be inducted into the New Zealand Hall of Fame for Women Entrepreneurs, but the truth is that I regard myself less an entrepreneur than an artist - which is why the high point of my career was rediscovering my creative side when I directed the first season of The Block.

At the time I was finding it very difficult to run a staff of 80 people. My shoulders were no longer broad enough to carry other people's issues. I was bogged down in my job and spending half of my time on contracts and the rest on admin. I'd lost the love - but I found it again the moment I set foot on the set of The Block.

I called out, "Lights! Camera! Reality!"

The love was what kept me going in the business. People like Matilda Rice get it. People like John Campbell didn't get it. He's yet to find another job, which tells you something!

John Campbell, Thursday

Dear everyone who's offered such kindness over the past months, just to say I'm going to work at Radio New Zealand SO SUCK ON THAT CHRISTIE.

Phil Rudd, Friday

Tuesday was a blast. It was so good to get out of the house. I thought about driving to court in my Lamborghini, but then thought I'd choose my Bentley, changed my mind and decided on my Ferrari, but in the end I didn't want to make a statement so I got in my F-type Jag.

I felt the sun on my face. This is a great country when the sun's out.

I guess I'll see it again on November 24, the date that the judge set for my next court appearance.

It's a bit of a wait, but times flies while you're waiting for someone to make you a nice hot cup of tea.

Rock'n'roll!