Yeah look, it's me again and I have absolutely terrible news for you. I am back with another recap of the Masked Singer NZ.
It's episode 7 and I am utterly flabbergasted by the revelations we have for you this evening. Let's start by recapping where things are at in this wild game.
The six masked "celebs" still in the game are ... Medusa, Monster, Tuatara, Jellyfish, Sheep, Pavlova, Kiwiburger that's our tucker! If that line isn't in the next McDonald's Kiwiburger song, a travesty has occurred.
"Get ready for the most revealing show on earth," shouts host Clinton Randell, who very clearly has never seen the show Naked Attraction.
In a moment fit only for NZ reality TV, while having general judge chit-chat to start the show, Rhys Darby reveals his favourite to take the top spot, Alien, who was eliminated in episode 3.
Panel mat time also hit me with a revelation that Kiwis say the name Medusa in the most bizarre way, with both Ladi6 and Randell opting for a brave "Me-do-sa".
And just like that, we are off. Me-do-sa takes to the floor and even autotune cannot hide the identity of this slippery snake lover.
It was a good enough take on a Benee track, but the guesses were in and they weren't so good. Sharon Casey guessed singer K'Lee, which makes sense because she was on Dancing with the Stars. Darby guessed actress Kristin Sims, Ladi6 went for Tami Neilson, who it's absolutely not, and Roque went for singer Aradhna.
Tuatara was up next, and the judges pretended to not know who this celeb was, despite the rest of New Zealand knowing. One Day these judges will realise they had it easy.
Casey guessed Lachie from The Wiggles, Darby went for Bilbo Baggins/Martin Freeman, Ladi6 went for Moses Mackay, and Roque went for KJ Apa. I laughed and laughed and I laughed a little more. And then the comedian changed his guess to Jared Leto and honestly my ROFL, LMAO meter went off the charts.
Monster took us away from the madness and belted out Khalid's Can't We Just Talk and look, I absolutely want to talk, but I still have not recovered from Roque guessing Oscar winner Jared Leto.
Casey guessed rapper Scribe, Darby guessed Monster was a real monster, Ladi6 went for J-Williams, and Roque guessed social media star Johnny Tuivasa-Sheck, before Darby somehow settled on Prince Harry.
Jellyfish belted out "You Don't Own Me" and honestly she crushed it - she even rapped. I love her for it and decide she must win this competition. So they will probably send her home tonight.
The guesses were in, and after Roque revealed he was being paid a petrol voucher to appear on the show, Casey guessed Suzanne Paul. Darby was a vibe when he shared he honestly doesn't care who Jellyfish is, but settled on Dannii Minogue, Ladi6 went for Esther Stephens. Roque finished up the guesses with influencer and funny lady Jamie Curry.
Next up Pavlova took the stage with Back to Black by Amy Winehouse, and Casey proposed it might be rugby player Niall Williams, Darby went for Kerre McIvor, Ladi6 landed on for Astar the ex-Good Morning show chef and Roque guessed Hilary Barry.
Sheep, who now has the best moves on this show, was pipped by the judges to be radio host Jono Pryor, actor Russell Crowe, singer Brad Kora or rugby legend Kieran Read.
Somehow we managed to make it past these utterly terrible guesses to the end of the show.
And tonight was the night we said goodbye to Jellyfish, of course we did, because she nailed it and the eliminations on this show make no sense.
But when we got a look inside her sequined jellyfish head I was shaken to my core as ex-Bachelor winner and influencer Matilda Green was revealed to be inside the costume.
Green who was 7-months-pregnant during filming, proved once more that women are absolute bada****, when despite nausea and exhaustion, she served us performances of a lifetime.
Not one to let a star shine, Randell decided to steal the moment and remind everyone that he said if Jellyfish wasn't a professional singer he would do the rest of the show in a Speedo. Look mate, you honestly nearly made it to the end of a show unscathed.
It felt like it was Green's birthday and instead of letting her blow out the candles, he snaked in from the side and blew them out, while we were all mid-song.
But Randell couldn't take this moment away from Green, who smashed it out of the park with her mammoth effort. Despite all this, and despite the genuine respect I have for a woman who has a toddler, a baby on the way, a career, and stars on a primetime TV show - I just absolutely refuse to believe the grass is greener on the Masked Singer side.
• The Masked Singer NZ screens on Three on Sundays from 7pm and Mondays from 7.30pm