The Masked Singer NZ 2022 episode 1: It's back - but is it any better?

Clinton Randell is back for the second time hosting The Masked Singer NZ. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

OPINION:

When we heard Warner Brothers Discovery, formerly Three, was bringing back The Masked Singer NZ for a second season, we couldn't help but think, "why"?

Well, last year it proved to be Three's strongest series launch, with 400,000 viewers tuning in to watch the first episode. And it retained viewers throughout the season despite mixed - and honestly savage - reviews, including from this publication. It all seems like a fever dream now, but will it prove to be a recurring nightmare?

But here we go again - it's back and so is the only host the network seems to have the contact details for, Clinton Randell. The sequined school production costumes are of course back, and so are 13 new Kiwi celebrities waiting to be unmasked.

Judges Sharyn Casey and James Roque are back, with new judge Anika Moa and Jono Pryor as a guest. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

This year, we know what to expect from the show and what not to. This is New Zealand, after all, and we used up all our local celebrities on the recent season of Dancing with the Stars. So the biggest question is will Thingee from WhatNow appear? And which member of TrueBliss will make the top three?

First thoughts - it's long! Was it this long last year? Tonight's episode was an hour and 20 minutes long, not including the ad breaks. I could have watched Netflix's Persuasion, downed a few wines and had an express mani-pedi in that time.

Last year's judges James Roque and Sharyn Casey are back, with new judge Anika Moa. I personally think Moa should be the one hosting - she gets more laughs than Randell. But who has time for jokes when you're hosting The Masked Singer, Dancing with the Stars, Heartbreak Island, and singlehandedly keeping the hair mousse industry afloat?

And in a strange twist, we've got a guest judge for one night only, The Hits radio host Jono Pryor, who looks a little lost and jokes he's so bad he'll "probably get this thing cancelled". Oh, if only it were that easy.

And of course, tonight six masked singers face off against each other two at a time. The judges make their guesses based on cryptic clues.

Pōhutukawa and Gladiator Alligator go head to head in episode 1. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

The live audience votes for their favourites and by the end of the show, the panel will vote for one celeb to remove the mask and reveal themselves.

First up is Bedazzled Unicorn versus Retro Robot - it feels like primary school children picking team names, yet it's on national television. Unicorn looks like a My Little Pony come to life, which is frankly terrifying, and Robot looks like something my boss's three-year-old son drew at daycare that didn't quite make the fridge. And I'm sorry, is that a paper plate on top of your head, Robot?

After a cryptic clue involving breadcrumbs, the Bedazzled Unicorn starts rapping. The judges are confident it's someone from the foodie realm - is it MasterChef Australia judge Melissa Leong? Or is it our own Nadia Lim?

The Retro Robot "has made some enemies and isn't looking for your cache money", leading Moa to guess it's Bishop Brian Tamaki himself. But as Pryor points out, would he ever go on a show called The Masked Singer? Touché.

Gladiator Alligator - whose dental work took inspiration from children's nightmares - has got to be the very available, and the very cheap to get Russell Crowe, according to Pryor. Jonathan, it's the Masked Singer New Zealand - if you are guessing south of the Bombays you've gone too far. Casey guesses Lance Savali, and Moa jumps aboard the DWTS train and picks Dave Letele.

To Roque, Pōhutukawa shows us what Guardians of the Galaxy would be like if it were set in New Plymouth. We also can't help but spare a thought for the celeb who got the part of "Tree" in the school play.

The pōhutukawa tree is the "first of its kind" and the clue also references Ferndale - leading Casey to guess it's Mary Haddock of Shortland Street.

Ruru Chick is stylish in sequins, so could it be fashion icon Karen Walker? Or is it Starstruck's Rose Matafeo, come back to Aotearoa to "roost" as per the clue?

Then Double Scoop Icecream turns out to be two people - there are two pairs of feet shuffling onto the stage in a costume topped with what looks like an emergency rain poncho on top of a folded-over duvet cover.

Casey beats me to it and guesses it's power couple Hannah and Beauden Barrett. Let me get a closer look at their matching white sneakers - can anyone sports-minded tell me if Adidas is still sponsoring Beaudy?

Georgina Beyer was unmasked on tonight's episode. Photo / Warner Bros Discovery

In the end, Double Scoop Icecream, Pōhutukawa and Unicorn are in the bottom three as voted by the audience. The judges choose to reveal Pōhutukawa and their final guess is that beneath the branches is the world-first trans mayor and MP Georgina Beyer.

And they're correct - it is Beyer, who was "terrified" to go on the show at first but couldn't pass it up and is grateful for the opportunity.

Suiting up for this show must be nearly as terrifying as working at Centrepoint Fabrics the day this costume department turns up. "Forty-two metres of sequins, 10 bags of feathers and a paper plate thanks!"

But we'll have to wait until next week to see six more masked singers take the stage, a new guest judge appear and my wine order to turn up.

I'll be watching, because I was handed down the job, my boss is on holiday and you, the people of Aotearoa, cannot seem to get enough of this show.

•The Masked Singer screens on Three on Sundays from 7pm