The Diary: Jeez Russ, where the bloody hell are ya?

Russell Brand joked that "Hamilton is the chlamydia capital of the world" after realising he was talking to a Kiwi audience. Photo / AP

Brand has brain fade over New Zealand

During a radio interview with Mike Hosking yesterday to promote his upcoming New Zealand Trew World Order tour in October, British comedian Russell Brand had a momentary brain fade, believing he was talking to a journalist in Australia.

"What I might do is bring my cat Morrissey to Australia with me. Oh wait, this is New Zealand, right?" Brand said.

The 39-year-old motormouth can be forgiven. He's on a whirlwind promotional circuit this week doing phone interviews with radio stations from his home in London to flog tickets for his upcoming stage shows in Australasia later this year.

"I've got a lot of friends from New Zealand," Brand said in an effort to make amends. "They're all in London, but they're from New Zealand. They're good people. A lot of them are involved with making coffees over 'ere ... Coffee and marijuana seems to be what your country is running off," he joked.

* Listen to the full interview here.

Brand himself is running on pedal power. He told petrolhead Hosking he has no vehicle in England's capital, opting instead to ride a bicycle. This shocked the broadcaster who gets around in a convertible Ferrari.

However, jokes about erections, sex and "Hamilton [being] the chlamydia capital of the world", did not. Hosking giggled like a naughty schoolboy.

"I think, since I've stopped taking drugs, and since I've become a bit more religious, I've started to think, well, basically everything is going to do what it's going to do," Brand told Hosking. "I've got a general sense of just accepting the flow of life."

Brand's philosophy on life will be in full flow at Vector Arena on October 14.

Posh nosh with Richie up for grabs

If you'd like to have dinner with Richie McCaw at Simon Gault's Euro restaurant you'll have to pay for it. And I mean pay, big time. The meal will cost you thousands, but it's all for a good cause - to raise money for the Pacific Disability Support Trust.

Photo / Sarah Ivey

The opportunity to dine with the All Black and six of your friends is being auctioned on Trade Me and the highest bid at print time was $3310. The auction runs for a further six weeks until July 9, the day after the All Blacks vs Samoa game in Apia.

McCaw is a strong supporter of the trust. Five years ago he helped raise more than $300,000 for a Samoan boy who broke his neck playing rugby.

Snow worries

With much of the country blanketed in snow, spare a thought for Marcus Lush who braved the elements to take this father-and-son bonding pic - in bare feet! Lush, who is studying in Cromwell, holds his son Tracker, with toes exposed to the cold.

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Mimi joins Lucy on new series

Tom Cruise's first wife, Mimi Rogers, is set to start filming in New Zealand on the Starz network's new TV series

Ash vs Evil Dead

, the Hollywood Reporter announced this week.

Rogers joins Lucy Lawless, Ray Santiago and Jill Marie Jones on the 10-episode first season, which started shooting in Auckland a month ago at a repurposed warehouse in Penrose. The series is slated to debut later this year. Lawless' hubby Rob Tapert will produce the TV spinoff alongside Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell. Three hundred mostly local crew are employed on the production.

Five things the fur seal can do next

The slippery Papakura seal rejected the estuary this week in favour of a snooze at a carwash, becoming a hit on social media in the process. The seal was on its way by truck yesterday to be released at a remote beach. So what's next for the plucky mammal?

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1. Waddle over to Pakuranga and lay low with Maurice Williamson and his secret waka.

2. Visit the exhibition of WWI letters at the Papakura Museum, which opens on Friday.

3. Make a big splash at the Papakura pools at Massey Park Aquatic Centre.

4. Shake his tail feather with Elvis' favourite local fan, Crusher Collins.

5. Continue to take the line of passive resistance and get a heavy lift to Kelly Tarlton's.