Chelsie Preston Crayford and John Key.
January
• TVNZ news boss Ross Dagan (now departed) told The Diary his baby Seven Sharp would star Greg Boyed, Ali Mau and Jesse Mulligan, and "reflect the day's events with smart thinking, different viewpoints and plenty of laughs". Laughs at the show's expense, it turned out. Boyed jumped the sinking ship and Mau was replaced last week. Only, it took The Diary to inform her of the news. TVNZ has a lot to learn about human relations.
• The investiture ceremony for Paul Holmes at his Hawkes Bay retreat (now available for hire) was especially important for the beloved broadcaster who passed away from cancer two weeks later. His children made readings at the funeral at Parnell's Trinity Cathedral, and in an exclusive interview with The Diary, Millie said she was "doing her best" to cope with her dad's death. She supported step-mum Deborah, and helped promote mum Hinemoa's new gourmet food manufacturing business. She got an ink tribute of her dad tattooed on to her thigh.
• Hayley Holt announced former flame Richie McCaw is not all that in the sheets. On Christmas Day the AB captain turned down a romp in bed in favour of a bike ride wearing a Lycra onesie, she said.
February
• MP Nikki Kaye completed the Coast to Coast triathlon, alas Pippa Middleton did not. She said she hoped to be a contender in a column she penned for Britain's Spectator magazine. Instead, she was sunning her scene-stealing derriere on Mustique - 13,000km away.
• Gilda Kirkpatrick became a first-time mum at the age of 40, giving birth in July to Lucan Xerxes who is outdoing his mum in the designer thread stakes. However, TVNZ exec Andrew Shaw apparently took umbrage with Kirkpatrick's baby news, allegedly taking to Facebook to post: "Gives boring a new headline, have your kid and bugger off." Shaw said "someone must have hacked my page". Really? He blamed Telecom, who said it was nothing to do with them. But eight months later Shaw was back in the headlines again labelling Auckland a "s***hole" while joking about the city's large Polynesian population.
March
• Linda Clark joined The Vote and Anna Guy bizarrely joined 3rd Degree. Alas, neither women remain in TV3's current affairs plans. The Vote was canned in October, as we told you, and Guy's third autobiographical report mysteriously never made it to air.
• Matthew Ridge talked to The Diary about being ejected from a private party at the Viaduct after a run-in with his daughter Jaime. He was left with nerve damage in his arm from heavy-handed security guards.
April
• Richard Kahui married longtime girlfriend Amy Rhodes in Hamilton; Richie McCaw played milkman in Sri Lanka as Fonterra ambassador; Dan and Honor welcomed Marco, and Ali Williams became a dad to Jessica.
• John Tamihere targeted a journalist and his family with paparazzi-style photos (in response to an investigation about his private business interests) and posted them to Radio Live's website. They were pulled down quick smart after complaints of intimidation and bullying. Tamihere drew wrath again in November for his Roast Busters comments during the show with Willie Jackson. We revealed he was let go from the company, and is now threatening legal action. Jackson will return next month with Ali Mau by his side.
• Actor Chelsie Preston Crayford tried to belittle the PM by posing with him while purportedly holding an "I'm with stupid" sign. Key scoffed: "From what I can see she has the sign pointing in the wrong direction."
May
• Duncan Garner used fake cannabis in an on-air radio stunt and was dubbed "Switched on Garner" - a play on the hydroponic supply shop whose boss convicted of dealing in cannabis-growing equipment.
• Self-aggrandiser Aaron "Don't-you-know-who-I-am?" Gilmore became the laughing stock of Twitter after leaked transcripts by him introduced a profanity (f***tard) and a superhero (Batman) into the media vernacular.
• Paul Henry filmed his most non-taxing role yet - playing himself in a short film. He next plays himself in his nightly TV3 show starting next month called, you guessed it, The Paul Henry Show. In October, The Diary broke the news the show would replace Nightline, to be dumped after 20 years.
June
• The Diary revealed a leaked copy of TVNZ's secret rigid social media policy called "The Rules", which had some claiming it was censorship gone too far. News and current affairs staff were told to keep personal opinions to themselves - or else. Joanna Hunkin was reprimanded for a tweet about X Factor judge Mel Blatt. Matty McLean was spoken to after likening Blatt to former Idol judge Paula Abdul. Ruth Wynn-Williams was told off after filing holiday snaps from Rarotonga on her private Instagram page.
July
• We announced Stephen Donald's story is coming to the small screen in The Kick. The casting net is open for acting hunks to play All Black roles. Karl Urban's tipped for the role of Richie McCaw.
• Kim Dotcom's helicopter hikoi to Wellington before the Intelligence and Security Committee on the GCSB saw a scrap between the Teutonic German and the Prime Minister. But a Twitter scrap between Judith Collins and Metiria Turei about a boxy blazer proved more feisty.
August
• The Diary reported Michael Fassbender was signed to Kiwi co-funded film Slow West, a Western filmed around Twizel, filling in for 19th-century Colorado. Tau Henare clashed with Trevor Mallard (again), this time over a satchel. Apparently man bags are a no-no in the House. Mallard dobbed Tau's tote in.
September
• We revealed Simon Dallow's sex toy pic at the closing party for youth music channel TVNZ U that did wonders to raise his cool factor among the kids. Also impressing the juveniles was Denise L'Estrange-Corbet, who dropped the F-bomb in a speech at a school assembly in Diocesan School which prompted a letter to parents from the principal in a quick mea culpa.
October
• Rihanna came, so did One Direction, Beyonce and Taylor Swift, who went running through the vineyards at Stonyridge. Lorde spent many weeks at No 1 on the US Billboard charts and hobnobbed with stars from Rebel Wilson, Karl Lagerfeld, Tilda Swinton, David Bowie and Cher. But critics scoffed at her culturally-rich background (a wealthy suburb, affluent school) saying if Lorde isn't royal, then who is?
• Paul Henry launched his book Outraged, in which The Diary came in for distinguished praise. Alas, not so Dotcom, Seven Sharp, ageing politicians, feminism, and homosexuals, who the author bemoaned, "are not special because they are gay". Theatrical gays, though, "can be quite fun".
November
• We announced Bret McKenzie signed to Fox to develop an animated comedy TV series about a Nasa space centre. Taika Waititi signed to Brad Pitt's Hollywood production company Plan B Entertainment to direct a movie.
• We revealed Dancing With the Stars is making a dramatic comeback with the BBC and Great Southern Television at the helm. Tamati Coffey, dumped from Seven Sharp, and Hayley Holt, no longer with More FM, are tipped by producers to co-host the show if TV One picks it up, as expected.
December
• The Almighty Johnsons was canned, so too The Blue Rose, Nothing Trivial and Go Girls.
• Lothario Len Brown's "annus horribilis" came to, er, a climax with the censure last week by his councillors over his actions during his two-year fling with Bevan Chuang. He'll have to fork out on the costs for the EY report and face a frosty Christmas holiday with his wife, who's no doubt asking who the close female friend is who escorted her husband to Guangzhou.
The Hollywood star is 70 but has no plans to retire from acting.