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Home / Entertainment

The Clash: No one wants to see a man band

Other
26 Mar, 2015 12:00 AM4 mins to read

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AJ McLean, Howie Dorough, Nick Carter, Kevin Richardson, and Brian Littrell of Backstreet Boys. Photo / AP

AJ McLean, Howie Dorough, Nick Carter, Kevin Richardson, and Brian Littrell of Backstreet Boys. Photo / AP

Opinion

Paul Flynn says:

The girls in the office were abuzz as the Backstreet Boys gig was announced. I imagined the concert - a band who at one stage were hot and cool, doing the same old choreographed dance moves they did 20 years ago. The only difference being they are now my age (mid to late-30s). And you know what guys my age look like when we try to do any sort of dance? Ridiculous.

There's something undignified and cringey about boy bands from the 90s still touring now. Rock bands can go and go for 30 or 40 years. Ageing pop stars - like most of us - have put on weight. And when you try to squeeze into those same 90s outfits you look like a shrink-wrapped pack of sausages.

I'm not saying the Backstreet Boys weren't a great boy band in their day; they were a huge disposable pop hit-making monster. Imagine how many Kiwi girls, wearing their favourite Barkers trackpants and Hypercolour T-shirt, bought copies of Smash Hits magazine and stuck Backstreet Boys posters in their bedrooms. It's these same girls who'll be attending this gig - leaving the kids at home with hubby for the night, getting all lairy after four overpriced sauvignon blancs and screaming like they did like 20 years ago.

Pop music, in its purest form, is a beautiful thing. It sits in your ear with its sugary melodies and for a few months of your life it's the soundtrack to your day. But once it's run its course, it should be left where it is - a funny nostalgic memory, only to be relived at work Christmas parties or the odd spin on the radio.

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I always remembered the soft drink Mello Yello from when I was a kid, it was like delicious sweet nectar on my young tongue. A couple of years back they brought it back and boom! - childhood ruined. (It was actually sickly sweet and a bit like Unleaded 91.)

The Backstreet Boys gig will be the musical equivalent of Mello Yello. Don't say I didn't warn you.

• Paul Flynn, aka Flynny, is the host of The Hits drive show with Stacey Morrison, weekdays from 3pm.

Mel Homer says:

For the purposes of research, I just watched the 1'51" trailer for the new doco movie, Backstreet Boys: Show 'Em What You're Made Of, and I'm here to tell you "The Boys" (that's how their management refer to them, don't blame that one on me) don't look half bad.

They're in their 30s and 40s now and I bet their knees give them gyp on a 2km jog around the suburbs too, but they can still spin around in time - so that counts for something, right?

I wasn't a fan back in the 90s, in fact I frequently muddled my boy bands - wait, what? Wasn't that Backstreet Boy with the dark hair Ciaran on Coro St? But the Backstreet Boys were still the background music to some pretty heady 90s days for me. They were all over radio and MTV, they were everywhere.

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If you were there when Thingee's eye fell out, then the Backstreet Boys are going to be relevant to you too.

Remember that time before you had kids and you pashed that guy, the one who'd used half a bottle of CK One and he smelt so amazing? I guarantee The Backstreet Boys were on the radio in the background, promising to Never Break Your Heart.

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Hell, if dungarees can make a successful comeback from the 90s, (most unflattering yet comfortable fashion ever) then there is no reason why the Backstreet Boys can't as well.

And let's not forget they'll be appearing at Vector Arena two days after that boy band from the 80s ... Spandau Ballet.

• Mel Homer is the host of mornings on The Mix, weekdays from 8am.

- TimeOut

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